IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge fo its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?

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University prepares
graduates
Use synonyms
 to be prepared for jobs.
While
Linking Words
 some people argue that
graduates
Use synonyms
 should learn anything, I side with those who feel that
graduates
Use synonyms
 only be prepared with needed
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and
skills
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
. On the one hand, preparing
graduates
Use synonyms
 with
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
that
Linking Words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 unrelated
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their future
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 can offer some benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
graduates
Use synonyms
 may learn new things that are outside their
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
. By studying more courses, the
graduates
Use synonyms
 might have gained new information and
skills
Use synonyms
, which could prepare them better
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the future.
For example
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,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 graduate
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 takes
biology
Correct article usage
a biology
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 major may have
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 chance
to be
Change preposition
of being
show examples
 accepted
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a job in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 finance sector. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would argue that providing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
graduates
Use synonyms
 with the
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and
skills
Use synonyms
 needed in the
workplace
Use synonyms
 offers more benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it enables them to focus on what they are doing. By giving more attention to the lessons that are needed in
Use synonyms
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
, the
graduates
Use synonyms
 will
enchance
Correct your spelling
enhance
 the
skills
Use synonyms
 and
knowledge
Use synonyms
 that are still lacking.
This
Linking Words
 prepares the
graduates
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 to be more confident
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
.
Secondly
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, the
graduates
Use synonyms
 will have a higher chance
to get
Change preposition
of getting
show examples
 hired by an employer because they are most likely will do well as they
are already have
Change the verb form
already have
show examples
skills
Use synonyms
 and
knowledge
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 giving
graduates
Use synonyms
 access to any
knowledge
Use synonyms
 despite
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 usefulness in
Use synonyms
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
a workplace
show examples
 might give them more experience, providing the needed
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and
skills
Use synonyms
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 them
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
 to work better at work.

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task achievement
Expand on the example provided about a biology major in a finance sector and provide more relevant examples to support your argument. This will enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Consider enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs to improve coherence. For instance, you may use linking phrases to connect the benefits in the first paragraph to your argument in the second paragraph.
task achievement
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that adequately outline your perspective on the main function of a university.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a well-organized structure, with distinct arguments supported by reasons and examples.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay, providing a clear stance.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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