IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The conventional university study model mainly consists of
curriculum
Add an article
a curriculum
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that is
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 in line with the focus of each major.
In
Change preposition
As
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result
Correct article usage
a result
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, some pupils might have their goals completed if they just follow the provided syllabus, but for
other group
Change the wording
another group
other groups
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 of learners, the full course might not be enough to satisfy their curiosity which
lead
Change the verb form
leads
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 them to pursue
another subjects
Replace the adjective
another subject
other subjects
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.
Nonetheless
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, I believe that neither of the
idea
Change to a plural noun
ideas
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 is wrong and
this
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 essay will examine the notion.
To begin
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 with, it is a common understanding that in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of capability, a person can be characterized as a 'generalist' or a 'specialist'. The first group comprises students who wish to take a career with broader responsibility.
For example
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, one
such
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 profession is a construction manager, who not only had to learn about engineering
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 a portion of management
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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. To achieve
this
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, they couldn't stick to only one directed subject.
In
Change preposition
On
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contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
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, there are folks whose aim is to specialize in a certain expertise. They are the people who would be put in the second box of
characteristic
Fix the agreement mistake
characteristics
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. To illustrate, an individual who yearns to operate a rocket in NASA would have to dedicate his life to the field of science and attain certifications related to the discipline. To summarise, either studying exclusively a specific subject or learning different module topics at once is both correct and should be a choice of every academic participant.
However
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, one must assess
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
oneself
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 well before enrolling
in
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on
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 the campus in order to wisely decide which path
they
Correct pronoun usage
one
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 will take.
In
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At
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 the end of the day, choosing a fitting way of educating ourselves will help us to reach our desired future.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to maintain a logical flow throughout the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate points more vividly and strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You clearly provided both sides of the argument, aligning well with task requirements.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively wraps up the discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Main points are present and well organized within the structure of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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