Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not having strict laws a better policy. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In several societies,

laws

Use synonyms

are imposed that

ages

Correct article usage

the ages

show examples

of citizens can drink

alcohol

Use synonyms

Meanwhile, other communities think

about

Change preposition

that

show examples

drinking

alcohol

Use synonyms

must not be

baned

Correct your spelling

banned

show examples

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both approaches,

however

Linking Words

, I firmly believe that it is the most important which imposing

laws

Use synonyms

about the legal ages of alcoholic drinks, because it protects and useful for

young

Correct word choice

younger

show examples

generations. First of all, the

youngs

Correct your spelling

young

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and

tenegers

Correct your spelling

teenagers

are quite omnivorous, meaning that they want to try everything, whether it is good or bad. That's why, different types of

laws

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are imposed by governments.

For example

Linking Words

legal

Add an article

the legal

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age of buying or selling and drinking

alcohol

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

helps that, societies can control and take care of young generations who are committing various crimes under the influence of firewater and from becoming addicted to it.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

blocked

Wrong verb form

blocking

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

drinking

Use synonyms

alcohol

Change preposition

of alcohol

show examples

is an ineffective policy,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

meaning addiction to

alcohol

Use synonyms

is related to every citizen and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can not be stopped by prohibition.

In addition

Linking Words

, Restriction is considered a serious threat to

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

freedom, if it had happened, it would have caused discontent among the population.

As well as

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

every individual should have

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

his own

her own

show examples

personal opinion.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they want to be able to express their views openly. In conclusion, the essay

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

discussed both

Change preposition

apply

show examples

views extensively,

Although

Linking Words

personal freedom is important,

however

Linking Words

, I strongly support imposing

laws

Use synonyms

alcohol

Use synonyms

consumption.

This

Linking Words

is because it helps protect young people from health risks and reduces drink-related accidents and crimes.

makemoneyizzy16Wed Jan 29 2025

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language

Work on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance clarity.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to further illustrate your points.

structure

The introduction and conclusion clearly address the prompt and provide your opinion.

task achievement

You provided a balanced discussion of both views.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Legal drinking age
Underage drinking
Health repercussions
Addiction
Drunk-driving
Responsible drinking
Forbidden fruit
Social rituals
Public health
Safety framework
Risks of alcohol
Cultural differences

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Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not having strict laws a better policy. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that advertising has positive economic effects. Others think it has negative social effects because it will make people feel dissatisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own

The role of a library in keeping books is obsolete. So universities should use digital media. What is your opinion? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.