More people put their personal information online (address, telephone number) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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The increasing trend of individuals sharing personal information online,

such

Linking Words

as their addresses and telephone numbers, has sparked a significant debate regarding its implications. On one hand,

this

Linking Words

practice facilitates convenience and connectivity, allowing people to socialize more easily on social networks and perform banking activities with greater efficiency.

On the other hand

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, it raises serious concerns about privacy, security, and the potential for misuse of personal data. As society becomes more reliant on digital platforms for everyday interactions, it is essential to critically evaluate whether

this

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development ultimately serves as a positive advancement or poses negative risks to individuals and communities.

sidhukomal096Wed Jan 29 2025

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Task Response

Your essay addresses the topic well, but consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, discuss specific incidents where personal data was misused from social networks or specific benefits obtained from sharing information online.

Task Response

Your arguments are clear, but try to elaborate on each point with more depth to enrich the discussion and improve clarity.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each main point is adequately supported with examples or explanations to showcase a stronger linkage between ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a good logical structure with a clear introduction and a balanced discussion of both positive and negative aspects.

Task Achievement

The essay topic is addressed directly and the introduction gives a comprehensive overview of what the essay will cover.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

102 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Personal information
Online privacy
Security concerns
Identity theft
Enhanced connectivity
Convenient access
Social networks
Banking purposes
Positive development
Negative impact

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More people put their personal information online (address, telephone number) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that universities should only offer places to students with high marks, while others believe that people of all ages should be allowed even if they don’t do well in school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some believe that technology, such as mobile phones, cell phones are destroying social interaction. Do you agree or disagree?

Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people argue that governments should make laws regarding people’s nutrition and food choices to improve public health while others contend that this is the freedom of personal choice and responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.