IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Task Two In modern society, it is common for employees to work overseas and take their families with them. What are the advantages and disadvantages for employees and their families? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? You should You should spend around 40 minutes on this task.

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There is no denying the fact that many workers and employees should
works
Change the verb form
work
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 for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own and
family
Change noun form
family's
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 future.
While
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 it is commonly held belief that there is
Use synonyms
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of people employees take their families with them for
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 own responsible, There is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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Use synonyms
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of advantages and benefits
for
Change preposition
to
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 taking your family with you.
To begin
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 with, some people can not have their own
respond
Replace the word
response
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or
Correct word choice
apply
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however
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 it depends
mostly
Add the preposition
mostly on
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 the mother or the father who is employed
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 they are the most two
imporant pepole
Correct your spelling
important people
 that
Add a missing verb
are effected
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effected
Correct your spelling
affected
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.
In other words
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,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 seems how is the family mature on them and if they can
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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provide for taking care
about
Change preposition
of
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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others and the place
its
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it's
it is
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 self. For
exsample
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example
 if there is
small
Add an article
a small
the small
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 family
one
Change preposition
with one
show examples
 young child it going to
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 how he will do all the home rules by
his self
Correct your spelling
himself
show examples
. Another point to consider
that
Add a missing verb
is that
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 there
is
Change the verb form
are
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Use synonyms
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
types
Change preposition
of types
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 of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 and how
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 it
depinds
Correct your spelling
depends
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
. It
its
Correct your spelling
is
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also
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 possible to say that
, Medical
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the medical
 and Engineering majority they are
known
Wrong verb form
know
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 it
have
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has
show examples
Use synonyms
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of effects and lecture out the places but it
have
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has
show examples
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
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of
Change preposition
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.
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Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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now a days
Correct your spelling
nowadays,
 kids can
also
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effect
Wrong verb form
be affected
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 and have
attached
Add a missing verb
been attached
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by
Change preposition
to
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 their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 and it some how make issue for them because
its
Correct your spelling
it's
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 known the child their good role model is their
families
Fix the agreement mistake
family
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. For
instane
Correct your spelling
instance
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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some how
Correct your spelling
somehow
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 and
disturbed
Wrong verb form
disturbs
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the
Change the word
your
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 own job there is a huge
different
Replace the word
difference
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brining
Correct your spelling
bringing
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 your own relatives
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
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the
Change preposition
at the
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 place you are working at.
To conclude
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, which
prespectives
Correct your spelling
perspectives
 may differ, I
convinced
Add a missing verb
am convinced
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
its
 own
excues
Correct your spelling
rules
 and sometimes
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 not by
thier
Correct your spelling
its
 own hand to do something if that mustly.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic, but try to articulate your thesis statement more clearly. State precisely whether you think the advantages or disadvantages outweigh the other.
coherence cohesion
Your essay should consistently connect ideas in a logical sequence. Strive for smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance flow.
task achievement
Use more specific and relevant examples to illustrate your points. It helps in clarifying your arguments.
grammar
Improve sentence structure and grammar for clearer expression. Avoid run-on sentences and check noun-verb agreement carefully.
task achievement
You have included both advantages and disadvantages, which addresses the task requirement.
task achievement
Your essay touches on several significant points, showing a broad understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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