IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line diagram shows the demand of electricity in winter and summer for a particular city. the pie chart shows the percentage of electricity use in the households. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line diagram shows the demand of electricity in winter and summer for a particular city. the pie chart shows the percentage of electricity use in the households. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line chart provides
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 about the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
 in
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
 nation . Measured in units . the pie chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the percentages of what the household
Use synonyms
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
 for .
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the line chart that the daily
use
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
 is so high in winter . And the
electricity
Use synonyms
 used for heating rooms and heating
waters
Fix the agreement mistake
water
show examples
 is more than other sectors .
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, the daily demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
 in winter
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 0
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 was approximately 35000, and
then
Linking Words
 it fluctuated and
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 21
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 about nearly 50000
unit
Fix the agreement mistake
units
show examples
. In summer
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 0
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 the
use
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
near
Add a missing verb
is near
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20000
unit
Fix the agreement mistake
units
show examples
. it
go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
upword
Correct your spelling
upward
between 12 and 15 at 20000, and it was the unit between 21 and 24 . the
use
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 used more in heating rooms and heating water about 52.5
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.
And it
Correct word choice
It
show examples
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
is used
show examples
 in lighting, TV, radio and vacuum, cleaners, food mixers and electric tools, in the same percentage 15.0% .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, use with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: