IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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These days, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 are really into moving their home from countrysides to
cities
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, the population of the
countryside
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 is decreasing, meanwhile, the number of
people
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 is increasing in
cities
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.
This
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trend
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 is popular and common all over the world. In my opinion,
this
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trend
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 is a negative
development
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. I believe that
this
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trend
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 will bring a lot of harm to the city and the
countryside
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. On the one hand,
this
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trend
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 will lead to the
development
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 of the rural economy slowly. As far as we all know,
people
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 want to move from the
countryside
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 to the city, most of them are adults. They have
abilities
Correct article usage
the abilities
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 and skills to earn some money by labor. More and more old
people
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 and children only stay at home. They do not have
ability
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the ability
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 to cultivate grains and crops,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 has a great impact on rural economic
development
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.
As well as
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, more
childdren
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children
 live with their grandparents,
they
Correct word choice
and they
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 can not even get a good look after.
In addition
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, more
people
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leave to
Wrong verb form
leaving
show examples
cities
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 will create more pressure on
cities
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. The government meet
to
Change preposition
apply
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a huge number of
people
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 who come from
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countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 recently, they have to make relevant policies to solve all kinds of
problems
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. More
people
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live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in
cities
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 will
also
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 cause all kinds of
problems
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,
such
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 as housing shortage
problems
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, health care
problems
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, students studying pressure questions and more. In conclusion, the
countryside
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 is
alao
Correct your spelling
also
 an
importent
Correct your spelling
important
 part of the nation.
people
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 should be encouraged to develop the economy and earn income in their
countryside
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.
Goverment
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Government
 should
also
Linking Words
 introduce policies to promote the
development
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 of the
countryside
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.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the ideas flow smoothly from one to the next. Consider using linking words and phrases to improve the logical structure and cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences can be rephrased to be clearer and more concise. Avoid repetition and redundant phrases.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the issue, identifying negative consequences for both rural and urban areas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the main ideas, providing a clear overview and summary of the writer's perspective.
task achievement
The essay identifies specific problems associated with rural-urban migration, such as economic impacts and increased strain on urban infrastructure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
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