IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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These days more rural
people
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 are really into living in
cities
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, so the population in the
countryside
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 is declining.
This
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 topic is pretty popular and common all over the world. In my opinion, I support that
this
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 trend will lead
a
Change preposition
to a
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negative development. On the one hand,
this
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 trend will hinder rural development. As far as we all know, most
people
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 who want to move to
cities
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 are young
people
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, their ages between 18 to 45. The old
people
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 and children have to stay at home in the
countryside
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. These
people
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 usually do not have abilities to plant too
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
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 crops and vegetables, they can only grow little food near their houses to satisfy life.
Secondly
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, if children spend more time staying at home alone or with their grandparents, they will get a sense of depression, alone, insecurity and more.
This
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 trend is harmful to their body and mentions health.
In addition
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, more and more
people
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 want to live in
cities
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, which will lead to more and more problems for governments.
For example
Linking Words
, It is more and more difficult to find work in
cities
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 in the future.
People
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 will get a sense of pressure when they find a job. Meanwhile, since more and more
people
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 move to
cities
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 from the
countryside
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, governments should pay more attention to healthcare problems, traffic jam problems, the problem of criminal behaviour and more. In conclusion,
people
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 should be encouraged to earn some money near their hometown. It is because it is a good way to promote the
develop
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development
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 of
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countryside's
Correct article usage
the countryside's
show examples
 economy and balance the development of the
cities
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 and the
countryside
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.

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task achievement
Try to provide a clearer argument in favor of your opinion. Consider elaborating on why you believe this trend is negative in more depth.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your ideas are presented in a logical order. Each paragraph should flow naturally into the next.
content
The topic is relevant and engages with a current global issue, which shows awareness of social trends.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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