IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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These days some
people
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 hold the view that they should learn about other
subjects
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 as a minor
subject
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. But others support that they should pay more attention to their major
subject
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.
This
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 topic is popular and common all over the world. In my opinion, I agree with the form point. On the one hand,
people
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 should learn more
knowlege
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knowledge
 to broaden their horizons. As far as we all know, reading books is a wonderful way to improve themselves.
People
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 learning about other
subjects
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 can
expend
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expand
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 their knowledge base.
As well as
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, through the hot competition and global perspective becoming more and more popular, minor
subjects
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 will put
people
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 on top.
On the other hand
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, learning about other
subjects
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 will put too much pressure
to
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on
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 young
people
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. A lot of
people
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 are really into learning one
subject
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 to make it perfect. If
people
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 want to learn more
subjects
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, they will get a sense of abstraction, meanwhile, they do not focus on studying an academic
subject
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 and study it thoroughly. In my opinion. I support
people
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should
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who should
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 be
encoureaged
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encouraged
 to learn about other
subjects
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 to improve themselves in college.
It
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This
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 is because they will promote a lot of abilities and skills,
such
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 as problem-solving ability, teamwork skill, communication ability and more.
People
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 will
also
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 get the ability to talk with
people
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 from all walks of life. In conclusion, students should be encouraged to learn about other
subjects
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, teachers should tell them the benefit of studying a minor. It is a good way to adapt to the fierce job competition.

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task achievement
Consider providing specific examples to support your points. This could strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Add transitional phrases or sentences to create a smoother flow between your points and paragraphs. This will help improve the coherence and overall readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion and providing closure to the argument.
task achievement
You successfully discuss both viewpoints on the topic, offering a balanced examination of the issue before providing your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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