IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the percentage of the rooms occupied in six hotels during May to September between 1985 and 2000. The table also indicates the star rating of each hotel.

The table shows the percentage of the rooms occupied in six hotels during May to September between 1985 and 2000. The table also indicates the star rating of each hotel.
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The chart provides
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 about the
hotel
Use synonyms
 rooms occupied from
may
Capitalize the word
May
show examples
 to
september
Change the capitalization
September
show examples
 in 1985 to 2000. Measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that Hamptons
hotel
Use synonyms
 occupied was the highest in the
last
Linking Words
 year than other hotels. And both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hotelconcord and
humiltons
Change the capitalization
Humiltons
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 the higher
stars
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
first
Use synonyms
 three hotels,
Hotelconcorde
Correct your spelling
Hotel Concorde
 in the
first
Use synonyms
 two years was the same percentage 90% .
Then
Linking Words
 it
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 in 1995 to 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
, and
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 again
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 66 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2000. The hamiltons in the
first
Use synonyms
 two years
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 100
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
then
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
declin
Correct your spelling
declined
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 5 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 1995, in 2000
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 upward it was 66 per
cent
Use synonyms
. The tower
hotel
Use synonyms
 was so low it was the lowest
rooms
Correct quantifier usage
number of rooms
show examples
 occupied in 1985 than other hotels, it was only 57
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
 the percentage increased to 85% in 2000.
Hotel
Use synonyms
olivia
Change the capitalization
Olivia
show examples
, start
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 90 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 1985 and
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
inrease
Correct your spelling
increase
 that much in 1990 and 1995 and it
ends
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
 in 2000
about
Change preposition
at about
show examples
 95 per
cent
Use synonyms
. Hamptons
Use synonyms
hotel
Capitalize word
Hotel
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 was so high in the
first
Use synonyms
 two years like Hamiltons
hotel
Use synonyms
. But the
Hamtons
Correct your spelling
Hamptons
 was the highest in 2000 it was 100 per
cent
Use synonyms
. The Continental
Use synonyms
hotel
Capitalize word
Hotel
show examples
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 with 79 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 1985 and
end
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
 with 80 in 2000. The
stars
Use synonyms
 of
Hotel
Use synonyms
 Olivia, Haptons and The Continental
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 three
stars
Use synonyms
, and the Tower was four
stars
Use synonyms
 .

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Vocabulary: Replace the words hotel, stars, first, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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