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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage of unemployed people aged between 15 and 24 in five European countries in 2005, compared with the overall percentage of unemployment in those countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of unemployed people aged between 15 and 24 in five European countries in 2005, compared with the overall percentage of unemployment in those countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph
provides
Verb problem
shows
show examples
 the number of unemployed citizens between
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
15
Change preposition
of 15
show examples
 to 24 in five different
Europian
Correct your spelling
European
show examples
 nations in 2005. It compares people who did not work in their 15-24 years old and the
overall
Linking Words
 unemployment trend in each
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
. From both categories, Poland consistently had the highest percentage of unemployed people in that year of observation. Regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
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young
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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15-24 years old who did not work, Poland
documented
Add a missing verb
is documented
show examples
 as the country
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 has the highest percentage of unemployed
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 at almost 35% rate.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
population
Change the determiner
populations
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 appear
sligtly
Correct your spelling
slightly
 decrease in Italy at around 28% and continuously
decline
Correct subject-verb agreement
declines
show examples
 in
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 three countries,
such
Linking Words
 as Hungary, Germany, and Denmark. Denmark
marked
Add a missing verb
is marked
show examples
 as the country
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 has
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
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 rate of turnover
On the other hand
Linking Words
, when it comes to
overall
Linking Words
 unemployment percentage, Poland is still leading the chart at around 28%.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, Denmark almost
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 the bottom line at under 10% of unemployed people as the lowest result in 2005.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment rate
  • youth unemployment
  • overall unemployment
  • comparison
  • percentage
  • aged between
  • economic conditions
  • educational system
  • vocational training
  • long-term impacts
  • policy changes
  • job training programs
  • disparity
  • national unemployment rates
  • European countries
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