IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Universities have to make it easier, especially for such groups, to get into them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a widely held view that
students
Use synonyms
 with weak financial backing or those from very secluded
areas
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 find it quite difficult to continue their higher studies.
Therefore
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 it is often advisable that colleges and
universities
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should
Verb problem
apply
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provide special opportunities for them. I wholeheartedly agree with
this
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 ideology to some extent,
however
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, there should be some additional criteria that these
students
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 must satisfy. The following paragraphs will discuss
this
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 subject. There is a wide range of
students
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 who come from poor family backgrounds and
hence
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 require some financial support. People coming from rural
areas
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also
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 find some difficulties and challenges in entering
universities
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. It may be
due to
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 the low quality of secondary education. Those who belong to the remote
areas
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 are taught by junior or novice teachers, who are still gaining some teaching experience.
As a result
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, they could not have the maximum quality education that they
are deserved
Wrong verb form
deserve
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.
Also
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, they face severe problems in competing with other
students
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 when they participate in the registration test for entering
universities
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.
Furthermore
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, most of the higher educational institutions are based in large cities rather than rural
areas
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.
Therefore
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, the
students
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 are required to leave their houses to
enroll
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enrol
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 in these study programs. Since these rural families mostly have their income from farming, leaving home is a loss of human labour for them which they could not afford. In
this
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 way, higher studies become a liability for them.
Therefore
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, it encouraged post-secondary institutions to reserve some seats and provide some subsidies for financially challenged
students
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.
On the contrary
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, I truly believe the instructions should arrange some entrance
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
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 and provide some financial
aids
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aid
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 in order to register or
employed
Wrong verb form
employ
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 skilled pupils.
Universities
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 must guarantee that these
students
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 have some potential and eagerness to learn new things.
Also
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, they should achieve higher academic scores in their secondary school studies, to ensure that the allocated seats and subsidized funds would not be a waste.
To conclude
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,
students
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 from low economic backgrounds or living in rural
areas
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 find it difficult to enter post-secondary schools. I wholeheartedly
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
agree with the ideology
to provide
Change preposition
of providing
show examples
 some sort of reservation for these groups of deprived
students
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.
However
Linking Words
, some assessments should be considered for these
students
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
 only those who genuinely want to study will be enrolled.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear stance on the topic. However, try to expand on your points with more varied examples to make your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well structured and each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. However, the clarity can be improved by tightening some arguments and ensuring they're directly aligned with your thesis statement.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly sets out the topic and your stance, and your conclusion effectively sums up your argument.
logical structure
Your Essay has a clear logical structure, with ideas flowing in a systematic way from one paragraph to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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