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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows how glass is recycled. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how glass is recycled. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart below provides
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 about the recycling process of
glass
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that the method includes 6 steps.
Useing
Correct your spelling
Using
 the
glass
Use synonyms
 to wash and recycle it
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a new bottle
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
reusing
Wrong verb form
reuse
show examples
 it again and
repet
Correct your spelling
repeat
 the process all over again .
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown in the diagram, after using the
glass
Use synonyms
 bottles and
put
Wrong verb form
putting
show examples
 them in the recycle bin, the
recycle
Change the verb form
recycling
show examples
 lorry
collect
Correct subject-verb agreement
collects
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 and
delever
Correct your spelling
delivers
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to the treatment plant
were
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
 the
glass
Use synonyms
put
Add a missing verb
is put
show examples
 in the washing machines to wash
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and
sterilizing
Wrong verb form
sterilised
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all the
dirts
Change the wording
dirt
specks of dirt
show examples
. After
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
step number four, the clean
glass
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
is crush
show examples
crush
Replace the word
crushed
show examples
 and
melt
Wrong verb form
melted
show examples
 with the melting machine, to
ba
Correct your spelling
be
show examples
 ready for shaping
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a
glass
Use synonyms
 form. Thin the melted
glass
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 put in a moulding machine to take the
glass
Use synonyms
 shape.
Finally
Linking Words
 the
glass
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
is deleverd
show examples
deleverd
Correct your spelling
delivered
 by a
delevery
Correct your spelling
delivery
 lorry to the supermarket, and they are ready to use. After reusing them
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
the process
restar
Correct your spelling
restart
restarts
 again.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words glass with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • diagram
  • recycled
  • stages
  • collection
  • waste glass
  • sources
  • bottles
  • jars
  • windows
  • transported
  • recycling facility
  • sorted
  • color
  • processes
  • cleaned
  • impurities
  • labels
  • caps
  • crushed
  • cullet
  • raw material
  • melted
  • furnace
  • temperature
  • molded
  • new glass products
  • distribution
  • consumers
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