IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people today believe that the world’s increase in population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis. Other people believe that world population increase is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world’s economy and society. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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One of the widely discussed issues of
population
Use synonyms
 worldwide today is its
increase
Use synonyms
 and impact on our
environment
Use synonyms
. It is undeniable that
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 has become an essential part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
21st
Change the article
the 21st
show examples
 century.
However
Linking Words
, there is no absolute agreement, that
population
Use synonyms
 causes many global problems in the
world
Use synonyms
 or they grow up
the worlds economy and society
Change to a genitive case
the world's economy and society
the economy and society of the world
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 tend to reveal both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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standpoints,
obtain
Correct word choice
and obtain
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own
Correct pronoun usage
my own
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 opinion. Most people around the
world
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 believe that the
increase
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 in
population
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 is leading to a change in our
environment
Use synonyms
, which is shown on social media. Scientists warn us every day that the pollution that people put into the
environment
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 and the use of many modes of transport is causing a global crisis
such
Linking Words
 as global warming. Proof of
this
Linking Words
, climate change and depletion of the Ozan layers are a major concern in the future.
In addition
Linking Words
, the number of flora and fauna in the
world
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 is currently decreasing, which may be one of the reasons for the
increase
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 in
population
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.
This
Linking Words
 is a major environmental problem; their shortage causes a change in the ecosystem, which is necessary for our life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some believe that the
population
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 growth in our
environment
Use synonyms
 is brilliant. They tend to ensure that the economy and society of the
world
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develops
Correct subject-verb agreement
develop
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 the
increase
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 in
population
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.
For example
Linking Words
, the economies of some poor countries in Africa are growing thanks to tourists who travel to expand their horizons.
In addition
Linking Words
, the appearance of a new generation is the appearance of new scientists who are ready to strengthen themselves in order to save our
environment
Use synonyms
 from global problems. In conclusion, taking into account all the above, I would agree that the development of science can solve
this
Linking Words
 problem. Reducing the quality of the
population
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 is not a good solution and may even be the worst thing for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and the
environment
Use synonyms
. I believe that new technologies can be a solution to
this
Linking Words
 problem.

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task achievement
For task response, ensure that your argument is clear and directly addresses both perspectives of the question. Reinforce your opinion with stronger arguments and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by using more linking words and improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the discussion and provides closure.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address both views of the issue, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overpopulation
  • Sustainable development
  • Resource depletion
  • Environmental degradation
  • Economic growth
  • Social stability
  • Workforce
  • Innovation
  • Living standards
  • Cultural diversity
  • Economic opportunities
  • Global crisis
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