IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. (cam 14 test 1)

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 accept
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 Destiny and start to live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
accordingly
Linking Words
.
However
Linking Words
, Others are the fighters and they try to
fight
Use synonyms
 back and get the situation favourable to them.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both of the views and
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 in upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, there are
people
Use synonyms
 who always have some sort of uncertainty in life and they
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to be taken advantage of by others.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who
are in
Verb problem
apply
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lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
 mostly get crushed and exploited.
Due to
Linking Words
 their inability to
fight
Use synonyms
back
Add a comma
back,
show examples
 they choose to accept the situation which is causing them to
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 their credibility as respected member of society.
Also
Linking Words
, some masses avoid
to
Change the verb form
fighting
show examples
fight
Use synonyms
 for their rights because of financial pressures.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 a sole member of a family with some sort of income, try to
avoide
Correct your spelling
avoid
 any
distruption
Correct your spelling
disruption
 in
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 life because any income
lose
Replace the word
loss
show examples
 can cast devastating effects on
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 family.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, There are survivors who do not bend and stand still on
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 grounds. They are full of
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
 and know that they can improve their
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 with their dedication and hard work. To explain it,
people
Use synonyms
 who keep the courage to work hard and with determination to make things better, often get successful in their careers, because they never
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hope and keep up with their goals.
Additionally
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,
people
Use synonyms
 with positive intentions always
stands
Change the verb form
stand
show examples
 out
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the crowd, Because they are not afraid of
getting failed
Wrong verb form
failing
show examples
, failure is not the end of the world but it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sign of experience of how not to approach the situation.
To conclude
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 that,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 personally believe that one should always think about changing things in favourable ways and never ever expect someone to stand up for themselves, always
fight
Use synonyms
 for your rights
make
Correct word choice
and make
show examples
 things better for yourself and your family.

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task achievement
Consider refining your examples to be more specific and directly related to the points you are making. For instance, instead of broadly mentioning 'financial pressures,' you might illustrate this with a clear example of economic circumstances.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring that your ideas are clearly ordered in each paragraph, following a logical flow that links each point to the next. This will help strengthen the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
You provide a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which shows a good grasp of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
You show a good attempt to use transitional phrases and linking words to connect ideas across sentences and paragraphs.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Acceptance
  • Contentment
  • Stress relief
  • Peace of mind
  • Personal growth
  • Development
  • Opportunities
  • Stagnation
  • Lack of progress
  • Improvement
  • Motivation
  • Effort
What to do next:
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