IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, many university
students
Use synonyms
 are interested in learning other
subjects
Use synonyms
 which are not the main lesson. Because they believe that if the study only main
subject
Use synonyms
 there may getting bored and it
also
Linking Words
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a chance to gain new experiences.
Whereas
Linking Words
, some university
students
Use synonyms
 are not interested in another
subject
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 they want to focus only on their main major. Most universities in Thailand, have options for
subjects
Use synonyms
 which are not the main lessons that
students
Use synonyms
 are able to choose during the course. There are a lot of
students
Use synonyms
 who decide to choose
alternative
Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
 because it might be easier than the main
subjects
Use synonyms
 in their major.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 might find that they are good at some
subjects
Use synonyms
 that they do not expect. In the meantime, some
students
Use synonyms
 intend only their major
subjects
Use synonyms
. They believe that it is very significant to study and are not interested in any
alternative
Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
 which are not related to their major. In case, of study with
subjects
Use synonyms
 that do not belong to their interest, some
students
Use synonyms
 feel like it is not efficient with the knowledge that they want. They may think that they are only good at the main
subjects
Use synonyms
 and that optional
subjects
Use synonyms
 are hard for them. In conclusion, most universities design their curriculum to be a mix between their main
subject
Use synonyms
 and
alternative
Use synonyms
 options. The reason is to avoid
students
Use synonyms
 getting stressed from their major
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
 and have opportunities to learn new
subjects
Use synonyms
.Some
alternative
Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
 are able to adapt to the main
subjects
Use synonyms
.There are both types of
students
Use synonyms
 who are interested in optional
subjects
Use synonyms
 and
students
Use synonyms
 who are not.In the future, I believe that universities still have an
alternative
Use synonyms
subject
Use synonyms
 for
students
Use synonyms
 so that they will not feel bored with only their main course.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument and states your opinion clearly. A stronger thesis statement will provide better guidance to the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to improve the logical flow of ideas. This will help the reader understand the main point of each paragraph quickly.
task achievement
Include specific examples or case studies to support your points. This will make your argument more compelling and relevant to the discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and phrasing, as some sentences are slightly awkward. For example, 'may getting bored' should be 'may get bored.'
task achievement
You provided a balanced discussion of both views, which is commendable and key to addressing the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points well and reiterates your opinion, which is a good practice for clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: