Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre is a waste of money. The government must invest this money in public service instead. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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The funding by the
government
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for
services
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related to
arts
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,
such
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as music and drawing is considered a bad financial decision.
Instead
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, investment must be made in public
services
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.
This
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essay will provide arguments that financial support for public
services
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is a more valuable decision than financial aid for
arts
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.
To begin
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with, the
government
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must ensure that citizens have access to essential
services
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, which will improve
overall
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public satisfaction. Cruciality of investments in social
services
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is
showed
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shown
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in many recent studies in Europe.
For instance
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, in Switzerland, the
government
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bought new convenient transport for residents, and after a week interviewed them about their opinions. The majority of respondents stated that
this
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investment was beneficial as it reduced traffic congestion and allowed them to reach their workplaces more efficiently.
On the other hand
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, some claim that the
government
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should acquire a budget to invest in
arts
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services
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. That campaign is less valuable because of the minority of people who are interested in artistic fields. The
government
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campaigns for social issues are more important
that
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apply
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was
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as
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proved by recent research.
For example
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, British Council surveys prove that a massive number of residents of London are worried about abrupt price changes in hospitals.
Thus
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, investments from governments should be progressed to the sectors that more people are concerned with.
To conclude
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, spending
government
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funds on public
services
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would be more beneficial for citizens than funding
arts
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services
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. I believe that investments in public needs are more preferred way to reach the improvement in any country.

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task achievement
Clarify your position in the introduction more distinctly. A more explicit statement of your agreement or disagreement with the topic question will enhance the clarity of your stance.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer single-sentence topic sentences at the start of each paragraph to improve the logical structure and coherence of your arguments.
task achievement
Strengthen your examples and ensure that they directly relate to your main points. The connection between examples and arguments could be more explicit to ensure clarity for the reader.
task achievement
The essay presents relevant arguments and tries to balance different perspectives on the topic.
task achievement
The use of examples from specific countries shows an effort to provide supported viewpoints, which is commendable.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural diversity
  • economic stimulus
  • tourism industry
  • social inclusion
  • wellbeing
  • public services
  • infrastructure
  • equitable distribution
  • fiscal responsibility
  • heritage conservation
  • intellectual property
  • private sponsorship
  • government subsidies
  • civic engagement
  • creative industries
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