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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Tourism is an ever-growing industry What benefits do you think tourism brings to individuals and society?

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Tourism
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 is an important industry in every
country
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. It provides employment to many people and advertises the
country
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's culture and
traditions
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the benefits of
tourism
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 and its impact on the community and citizens of the
country
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 with relevant examples. There are many benefits of travel. One of the major advantages is that it provides a source of income for the local citizens. There are many countries like Mongolia whose primary income is from
tourism
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.
For example
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, in the city of Rio in Brazil, more than 30
percent
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per cent
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 of the population is dependent on the folks visiting it, the public in the city makes a living selling idols and gifts.
This
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 indeed helps people to make money. Another advantage of
this
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 is it promotes the culture and
traditions
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 of the nation.
Traditions
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 and culture are what represent a
country
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.
For instance
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, Mongolian tradition is different from a lot of countries. Mongolia has a nomadic lifestyle that uses horses and camels as transportation, and they organize a competition every summer named “Naadam.” It is unique compared to other countries. Individuals can be interested and come to watch that “Naadam” competition. The perks of touristry are not limited to the above.
Moreover
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,
traveling
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travelling
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 will provide new opportunities for so many people. They can get access to a lot of things,
such
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 as a new language and new
traditions
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.
To conclude
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, the advantages of
tourism
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 and its associated industries are limitless to both individuals and society.

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Task Achievement
Consider elaborating more on each point you make to provide a clearer understanding of your ideas. Include deeper analysis or explanation of the examples to show their significance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines what will be discussed in that paragraph, this can improve the logical flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well and presents relevant examples to support your points, ensuring a clear understanding of tourism's benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
The use of different examples such as Mongolia and Brazil effectively illustrates your points and engages the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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