Most high level positions in companies are filled by men eventhough the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50%female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain % of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, in many companies,

men

Use synonyms

usually occupy

high ranked

Add a hyphen

high-ranked

show examples

positions despite the fact that the majority of employees in many developed countries are female.

Moreover

Linking Words

, any company should accept more

women

Use synonyms

to alter the proportions of the workforce. I partly agree with these statements because there should be an equilibrium in

women

Use synonyms

's and

men

Use synonyms

's rights but employers should focus on professional skills rather than gender. First of all, in recent years, the trend to support feminism increased significantly because of the disbalance in salaries between both sexes and other equality problems.

Moreover

Linking Words

, despite the huge changes that mitigate

this

Linking Words

issue, the top businesses are still promoting

men

Use synonyms

to a

high

Correct word choice

higher

show examples

position

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

than

women

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, the Thailand government has more than half female workers at present, and many other Asian nations are trying to achieve the same situation as it positively affects society.

Hence

Linking Words

, many corporations should follow

this

Linking Words

trend

due to

Linking Words

the potential positive impact.

However

Linking Words

, it is necessary for any employer to concentrate on the specific skills, qualifications and job experience rather than gender since these aspects are more significant for long-term development.

Furthermore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

should be true especially in obviously important spheres

such

Linking Words

as medicine since professionalism is the main factor if it is connected with saving lives. To illustrate,

according to

Linking Words

a recent study,

while

Linking Words

the majority of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

doctors are

men

Use synonyms

, their minor colleagues (nurses) are likely to be

women

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

, with the advanced support to enhance

Use synonyms

women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

rights and equality, huge businesses should promote the increased number of females to improve their own situation.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, I

also

Linking Words

believe that employers should first assess human skills

instead

Linking Words

of sex.

hhaha9102Sun Feb 02 2025

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task achievement

Consider providing a clearer position in the introduction, stating whether you fully agree or fully disagree with the statement. This will help guide the reader more effectively.

task achievement

Ensure that your main points are supported with specific examples relevant to the topic. While you mentioned Thailand, try to provide a broader context or additional examples.

coherence and cohesion

Work on linking your ideas more fluidly to improve the overall logical flow of the essay. For instance, use transitional phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.

coherence and cohesion

In your conclusion, summarize your key arguments more clearly to reinforce your main points. This will help tighten the overall structure and provide a stronger closing statement.

task achievement

You effectively discussed both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective on the issue.

task achievement

Your essay demonstrated an understanding of relevant issues like feminism and professional skills, which enriches the discussion.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

gender equality
workforce
mandatory quotas
tokenism
diversity in leadership
stereotypes
work-life balance
mentorship programs
flexible working conditions
maternity leave policies
holistic approach
cultural shift
sustainable gender equality
barriers to advancement

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Most high level positions in companies are filled by men eventhough the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50%female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain % of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that advertising may have positive economic effects. Others think it has negative social effects because advertising makes individuals less satisfied with what they are and have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people's attention to art? The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead.

Some people believe that in the future, environmental problems will mean that we are unable to live on this planet. In order to survive, the human species will need to find another planet that can support life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people suggest that a country should try to produce all the food for its population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?