IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Sending criminals to prison is not the most effective method to deal with crime. Education and job training should be used instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Jailing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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criminals is not the best method to deal with crime, and
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
eduacation
Correct your spelling
education
 and other activities are more efficient. I partly agree with
this
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 statement because some prisoners should have no chance
to be
Change preposition
of being
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 released back
to
Change preposition
into
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 the
siciety
Correct your spelling
society
.
This
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 essay will illustrate the reasons why criminals should be judged
according to
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 their past. First of all, there are already some countries using the
reabilitation
Correct your spelling
rehabilitation
 system in order to reeducate
people
Use synonyms
 rather than punishing them by sending
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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jail.
This
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 is mostly because criminals could be
valuable
Add an article
a valuable
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 part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society by entering
to
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apply
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a job
instead
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 of being
baned
Correct your spelling
banned
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 which is why some nations are creating rehab programs.
For example
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, the Sweden prison system is focused on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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education and comfortable living in
limited
Correct article usage
a limited
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 space to release beneficial and educated
people
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
Consequently
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,
ex prisoners
Add a hyphen
ex-prisoners
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 are not trying to break the law for the second time
due to
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 effective reabilitation.
However
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,
the
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apply
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individuals with
the
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apply
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horrible crime histories are dangerous even after any training programs since violence is the consequence of their unstable mental health, which
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
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 be treated completely.
Hence
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, in
this
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Fix the agreement mistake
situation
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situations
Add a comma
situations,
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 it is better to
basicly
Correct your spelling
basically
 reject any chance to be released as they are
the
Correct article usage
a
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 potential danger
for
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to
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 citizens. To illustrate,
according to
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 a recent study, the majority of recidivists are serial murderers and other
people
Use synonyms
 with terrifying crimes.
Therefore
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, humans should not be released if they
done
Add the auxiliary verb
did
have done
show examples
 significantly harmful things before.
To conclude
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,
it is clear that
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reabilitation
Correct your spelling
rehabilitation
 methods are effective enough to use them and alter prisoners
to
Change preposition
in
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 a better way.
Nevertheless
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, in some
situations
Add a comma
situations,
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this
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 solution is not only
uneffective
Correct your spelling
ineffective
show examples
 but
also
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 dangerous.

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Language
Ensure correct spelling, such as 'education' instead of 'eduacation' and 'rehabilitation' instead of 'reabilitation.'
Content
Clarify the argument regarding why some criminals should not be released to improve the overall coherence of the essay.
Development
Provide a more balanced view by elaborating on the benefits of rehabilitation in addition to the risks.
Argument
The essay presents a clear position by partly agreeing with the statement, which gives a balanced perspective.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • criminal behavior
  • reintegration into society
  • recidivism rates
  • breeding ground
  • cost-effective
  • cycle of poverty and crime
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