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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table
compare
Change the verb form
compares
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 the
age
Use synonyms
 of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
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 in six
diiferent
Correct your spelling
different
 countries in the year 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is readily apparent that
,
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apply
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 Korea had the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
men
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 and
women
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,
while
Linking Words
 France had the lowest figure of
men
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 and
women
Use synonyms
To begin
Linking Words
 with, Japan and Italy had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar figure of the retirement
age
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in
Change preposition
for
show examples
men
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 and
women
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with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
67
years
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 and 4
months
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 and 66
years
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 and 9
months
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, respectively. Korea had the highest
number
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 of
men
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 and
women
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, with the former ranking with 68
years
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 and 8
months
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 and the latter standing with 67
years
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 and 2
months
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.
However
Linking Words
,
whilst
Correct word choice
apply
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France had the lowest
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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number
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
retirement
age
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in
Change preposition
for
show examples
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
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 with 57
years
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 and 4
months
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 and 56
years
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 and 9
months
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, respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
men
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was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
a
Change the article
apply
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higher than
women
Use synonyms
 by 7
months
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 in Australia.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the US had the largest
number
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
retirement
Add a hyphen
retirement-age
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age
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
men
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 65
years
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 and 6
months
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,
whereas
Linking Words
women
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 ranked at 64
years
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 and 2
months
Use synonyms

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, men, women, number, years, months with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement age
  • gender disparity
  • average
  • countries
  • comparisons
  • illustrates
  • features
  • trends
  • outliers
  • noteworthy
  • notable differences
  • economic factors
  • social factors
  • legal factors
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