IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some argue that a high salary is more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying the fact that high
salary
Use synonyms
 plays
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
 role for people to keep them involved in their
jobs
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that
work
Use synonyms
 satisfaction is more beneficial for
workers
Change noun form
workers'
worker's
show examples
 well-being. In my opinion, I consider that
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
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 is
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 feature for workers.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, High wages can enhance employee's quality of life.
In other words
Linking Words
, If companies had paid their
Use synonyms
labours
Correct your spelling
labourers
show examples
 well,
Use synonyms
labours
Correct your spelling
labourers
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 would had a lot of money that allow them to invest their money.
In addition
Linking Words
,
High
Correct article usage
a High
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
 could encourage individuals to improve
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
their selves
as well as
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
 efficiently because of
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
show examples
intensives
Correct your spelling
incentives
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
provided by
jobs
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.
For instance
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, Japanese
Use synonyms
labours
Correct your spelling
labourers
show examples
 are renowned all around the world for their discipline and proficiency in their
jobs
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due to
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 most Japanese receive high
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salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
. Another point to consider
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
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 can bring
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
employees a sense of financial security,
avoiding
Verb problem
preventing
show examples
 them
to seek
Change preposition
from seeking
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
part-time
jobs
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 to deal with their
expanses
Correct your spelling
expenses
show examples
. It is
also
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 possible to say that people who receive high
Use synonyms
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 in their country are more likely to stay
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
home which can reduce the rate of unemployment in countries and can contribute growth economy
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their countries. Many studies have shown that workers who
paid
Add a missing verb
are paid
show examples
 well
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
work
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 have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
loyalty
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their
work
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 compared to those
does
Verb problem
who are
show examples
 not paid well. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some people argue that
work
Use synonyms
 satisfaction is vital for employees, l strongly agree that
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
 is more significant because it provides numerous benefits for
Use synonyms
labours
Correct your spelling
labourers
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as improving their quality of
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 and financial security.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly address both sides of the argument, as this will strengthen your position. Consider acknowledging the importance of job satisfaction as well.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of your essay by using more cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases. This will improve the overall coherence of your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and verb tenses. Incorrect verb forms and agreements can detract from the clarity of your message. For example, use 'employees have' instead of 'employees are'.
task achievement
You provided some relevant examples, such as the case of Japanese workers, which adds depth to your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion restates your main points effectively, summarizing your view clearly.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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