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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Tourism has increased so much over the last 50 years that it is having a mainly negative impact on local inhabitants and the environment. However, others claim that it is good for the economy. Discuss the advantage and disadvantages of tourism and give your opinion.

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Over the course of the recent decades, the world has seen a rapid rise in
holidaymaking
Correct article usage
the holidaymaking
show examples
 industry.
Although
Linking Words
 some people claim that
this
Linking Words
 ever-growing tendency creates some challenges around the globe,
it is clear that
Linking Words
tourism
Use synonyms
 has brought about numerous advantages for both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals and the environment. Admittedly, thanks to advancements in technology, more and more people have the opportunity to visit other parts of the world.
Therefore
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, substantial amounts of money
ae
Correct your spelling
are
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 spent on these excursions, directly contributing to the economy of popular holiday destinations.
For instance
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, it was reported by BBC that Thailand generates more than 60% of its annual education budget from
tourism
Use synonyms
 revenue and related taxes.
Furthermore
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,
tourism
Use synonyms
 fosters cross-cultural understanding and appreciation by exposing visitors to diverse perspectives.
In other words
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, some indigenous languages and cultures can be preserved or even promoted globally
due to
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 their attention-grabbing features and attributes.
Conversely
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, those who emphasize on negative side effects of
tourism
Use synonyms
 argue that
level
Correct article usage
the level
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 of pollution has increased significantly. Not only has air quality deteriorated, but
also
Linking Words
 the number of patients suffering from respiratory diseases has soared all around the world.
In addition
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, it is argued that the crime rate is often higher at
touristic
Replace the word
tourist
show examples
 sites. Indeed, some destinations may experience an increase in illegal activities
such
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 as drug trafficking and robbery.
Therefore
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, if local authorities fail to enact proper regulations and security measures,
tourism
Use synonyms
 destinations might face severe issues. In summary,
although
Linking Words
 there are both negative and positive impacts of
tourism
Use synonyms
 on societies, I firmly believe that the advantages of
tourism
Use synonyms
such
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 as financial contributions and culture preservation far outweigh the disadvantages, and with proper management practices can be a valuable asset to nations worldwide.

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language
Ensure to double-check for minor spelling errors (e.g., 'ae' should be 'are').
content
Consider balancing the discussion of both sides more evenly; the positive side seems a bit more emphasized.
coherence
Make sure your connecting words and phrases contribute to the overall flow of the essay; transitions between ideas could be smoother.
content
Strong examples provided, such as the statistics on Thailand’s tourism revenue, enhance the argument.
structure
Well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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