Q1. Nowadays,many people have to work longer hours and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their life easier.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently, more and more individuals
are
Wrong verb form
have been

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb are. Consider changing it.

show examples
forced to
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

longer hours and they are more
stressful
Replace the word
stressed

The word stressful doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
than past.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

can be
Correct article usage
a resulted

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
resulted
Replace the word
result

The word resulted doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
from
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
economic conditions and increasing consumerism.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply

The preposition about seems unecessary after the verb discuss. Consider removing the preposition.

show examples
these reasons and solutions which employers can provide. The first reason is economic conditions which can directly affect
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

people
Change noun form
people's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

-life balance. The more
cost
Correct article usage
the cost

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
of living
increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases

It seems that increase may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
, the more hours
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are forced to
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to cover their costs. In the USA,
for example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, simple
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers

The spelling of laborers is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
earn 10 dollars per hour equaling 80 dollars per day (based on 8
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

work-hours
Correct your spelling
work hours

The word work-hours doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
)
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they should cost around 100 dollars every day for a simple life. The second reason is consumerism which increased after the
industerial
Correct your spelling
industrial

If you don’t want industerial to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

revolution. Some costs which are considered indispensable nowadays, can be ignored in a realistic view.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, all
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

prefer to have their own cars,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

having a car is not necessary really. As a
solution
Add a comma
solution,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase As a solution. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
employers can provide psychological services for their employees. Organizational psychologists can help
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to make
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance

The noun phrase balance seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
between their
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and life or control their stress.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they can hold some compulsory holidays and get their employees
travel
Correct article usage
a travel

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
bonus. It is proved that each journey or travel can decrease most of the
sress
Correct your spelling
stress

If you don’t want sress to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

resulted
Wrong verb form
resulting

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb resulted. Consider changing it.

show examples
from a hard
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

period. In conclusion, because of financial problems and consumerism, a lot of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

more than before resulting in
increase
Correct article usage
an increase

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
their
Change preposition
in their

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
stress. Employers can figure
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem out by providing organizational psychological services, holding compulsory holidays and getting travel
bonus
Fix the agreement mistake
bonuses

It seems that bonus may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Consider refining your introduction for clarity. A more cohesive introduction that clearly outlines the points you'll cover could enhance the overall structure.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to rephrase the phrases like 'more stressful than past' to 'more stressed than in the past' for improved grammatical accuracy.
task achievement
Ensure that each point made is fully developed with specific examples. This will strengthen your argument and provide clearer illustrations of your points.
task achievement
When discussing reasons, consider elaborating on the implications of increasing consumerism and how specifically this affects work hours.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction, outlining the reasons and solutions, which helps guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples like the income situation in the USA, which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • increased competition
  • technological advancements
  • blurring the lines
  • economic pressures
  • organizational culture
  • job insecurity
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • mental health support
  • counseling services
  • stress management
  • recognize and reward
  • boost morale
  • workplace conditions
  • ergonomic
  • physical and mental strain
  • encourage delegation
  • distribute workload
  • prevent burnout
  • supportive work environment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: