IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

There is an annual work party next month, which is held every year. Write a letter to your colleagues to co-arrange the party. In your letter: Say what would you do differently than last year Say what you think were some of the things not so good last year Suggest where to meet to plan for the party.

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Dear colleagues, Ì am writing to announce that our annual
new
Correct your spelling
New Year
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year
Use synonyms
 party will be held next month. Unlike
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
that
Correct word choice
when
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 the get-together was on
Correct article usage
the lat
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lat
Correct your spelling
last
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 Monday of the
year
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
as a result
Linking Words
 of public request, we decided to arrange it on the
last
Linking Words
 Friday of the
year
Use synonyms
.
Last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 only 55% of employees got a chance to join us
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the party. So we decided to run a survey to identify the root cause of less involvement as compared with the previous years. Findings and statistics show most
of
Change preposition
apply
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worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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 were not able to get involved
due to
Linking Words
 personal affairs related to
week days
Correct your spelling
weekdays
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.
Consequently
Linking Words
, management decided to select a better date to run the celebration. We still could not finalize some party details including venue place, food and snack type, etc. So, we would like to schedule a meeting on Friday 21 November
to on
Change preposition
in
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conference
Correct article usage
the conference
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 room
at
Change preposition
on
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second
Add an article
the second
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 floor to brainstorm about
theses
Correct your spelling
these
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 matters. Please feel free to send any
suggestion
Fix the agreement mistake
suggestions
show examples
 to my email prior to our meeting. Best regards, Zari
shamsa
Correct your spelling
shams

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task achievement
Consider rephrasing the opening to be more direct, such as stating the purpose of the letter clearly at the beginning. For example, start with 'I'm writing to discuss the upcoming annual party and suggest some changes.'
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for spelling and grammatical accuracy. For instance, change 'thi s year as a result of public request' to 'this year, based on public requests.'
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a single main idea. For example, you could separate the thoughts about last year's problems and this year's planning into distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
The letter effectively highlights a shift in the party date and the rationale for the change, which shows consideration for employee preferences.
coherence and cohesion
The closing encourages collaboration and participation, which is a positive aspect of team communication.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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