IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and new events. Do you think advantages of this technology outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays ,technology
cover
Change the verb form
covers
show examples
 all the needs of communication and
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to make the
world
Use synonyms
 smaller than before.Social
media
Use synonyms
 is one of
Correct article usage
the tool
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tool
Fix the agreement mistake
tools
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people
Use synonyms
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 to keep in touch with
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 and new occasions.in my point of
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
 I think
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
applications
Fix the agreement mistake
application
show examples
 outweigh the disadvantages.
In addition
Linking Words
 ,
during
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 days technology is important to enhance life and to make it easier than before.Use social
media
Use synonyms
 to contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each other ,and to send all the events and share
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
any one
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
 in the
world
Use synonyms
 without any problem
for example
Linking Words
 :In the past
people
Use synonyms
was spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 many days or years to deliver
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 message but in the present we just need a click of send
message
Add an article
a message
show examples
 and it will reach in second in any area in the
world
Use synonyms
 Via Whatsapp .We can share our happy
moment
Fix the agreement mistake
moments
show examples
by
Change preposition
in
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picture
Fix the agreement mistake
pictures
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 or
video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
show examples
,in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
show examples
 the advantages
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more than
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 . As
wall
Correct your spelling
well
show examples
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
world
Use synonyms
 has two
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
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,there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 disadvantages of social
media
Use synonyms
 ,
Add an article
an individual
the individual
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individual
Change the adjective
individually
show examples
used
Wrong verb form
use
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 their mobile phone or
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
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 for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
long hours and it
cause
Verb problem
has
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an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
 side in their health and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their lifestyle
for example
Linking Words
 :
People
Use synonyms
 spend their time on their
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
show examples
 more than meet their friends in the real life and they prefer to open the screen and talk to them rather than meet them
moreover
Linking Words
 IMO provide video call and most of
Use synonyms
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 use it
instead
Linking Words
 of visit their family.They love being a way of reality and it is
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 thing
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
 , individual should be able to manage their time
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
find the best way to
ussing
Correct your spelling
use
 technologies and follow the instructions to help them become stable in their life .

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Language Use
Ensure proper grammar, punctuation, and phrasing for clearer communication. For example, "tool people used" should be "tools people use". Additionally, review articles and verb forms to enhance clarity.
Structure
Focus on structuring paragraphs clearly. Each paragraph should center around one main idea to improve coherence and cohesion. Make sure the transition from one thought to another is smooth.
Task Completion
Expand on the disadvantages of social media with specific examples to create a more balanced view.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and addresses the prompt, highlighting both advantages and disadvantages of social media.
Coherence
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main argument by stressing the importance of managing time with technology.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social media platforms
  • instant communication
  • real-time updates
  • global connectivity
  • community engagement
  • misinformation
  • mental health impacts
  • cyberbullying
  • productivity loss
  • virtual relationships
What to do next:
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