IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Nowadays, some employers thought formal academic qualification are more important than life experience and personal qualities when they look for new employees. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is argued that
a
Change the article
an
show examples
education
Use synonyms
degree
Use synonyms
 has been playing a significant role in the work environment.
This
Linking Words
 essay totally
disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
show examples
 with the statement. I strongly believe life
experience
Use synonyms
 is more effective in a
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am going to discuss
this
Linking Words
 issue.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
Linking Words
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
one
mejor
Correct your spelling
major
 effect at
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
 is
deep
Add an article
a deep
show examples
experience
Use synonyms
. Recently,
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 statistics refer to a person who
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
experience
Use synonyms
 is more creative than
others worker
Fix the agreement mistake
other workers
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
 the product
Use synonyms
rat
Correct your spelling
rate
show examples
 sharply increased that followed
income
Change preposition
by income
show examples
Use synonyms
rat
Correct your spelling
rate
show examples
is grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 situation
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
popular companies have researched
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people who have deep
experience
Use synonyms
 .
For example
Linking Words
, in Omani government
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
always
employed
Wrong verb form
employs
show examples
oldest
Correct article usage
the oldest
show examples
 people
due to
Linking Words
 things they have deep
experience
Use synonyms
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
education
Use synonyms
degree
Use synonyms
 is extremely requested in some
sactore
Correct your spelling
sectors
store
. To clarify,
todays
Correct your spelling
today
 the most of
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 depend on
technolody
Correct your spelling
technology
. So, the workers
need
Add the particle
need to
show examples
 have
background
Add an article
a background
the background
show examples
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 new technology and how
deal
Add the particle
to deal
show examples
 with it.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 the
education
Use synonyms
degree
Use synonyms
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 the employees
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to understand and adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 technology.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Japan,
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 should be provided
academic
Change preposition
with academic
show examples
 qualifications
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 job because lifestyle there depends on technology.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience
Use synonyms
 is more effective at big companies
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
degree
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the
produce
Replace the word
production
show examples
Use synonyms
rat
Correct your spelling
rate
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
growth,
in
Linking Words
contrast
Add the comma(s)
contrast,
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial
Use synonyms
rat
Correct your spelling
rate
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
 increased.

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task achievement
Clarify your viewpoint in the introduction. You mention you totally disagree, but it’s important to be more explicit about your opinion on the importance of life experience compared to academic qualifications throughout the essay.
coherence
Ensure your paragraphs have clear topic sentences that reflect the main point of each paragraph. This will help the reader understand the structure of your argument better.
coherence
Use correct word forms and spelling consistently, e.g., 'major' instead of 'mejor', 'sector' instead of 'sactore', and 'technology' instead of 'technolody'. This will improve clarity and demonstrate a stronger command of language.
task achievement
Expand on your examples to make them more specific and relevant to the argument. For instance, explain why deep experience leads to creativity and how it has specifically benefited companies like the Omani government.
coherence
Use appropriate linking words to improve the flow of your essay. Words such as 'however', 'furthermore', and 'for instance' can help connect your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Your argument that life experience is important in the workplace is clearly stated, and your view is easy to understand.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your points, showing that you have a grasp of the topic.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic qualifications
  • life experience
  • personal qualities
  • standardized level of knowledge
  • theoretical foundation
  • specialized fields
  • dedication
  • work ethic
  • measure and compare
  • industries
  • healthcare
  • engineering
  • legal and safety reasons
  • certifications
  • transcripts
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