Nowadays, some employers thought formal academic qualification are more important than life experience and personal qualities when they look for new employees. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that
a
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an
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education
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degree
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has been playing a significant role in the work environment.
This
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essay totally
disagree
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disagrees
show examples
with the statement. I strongly believe life
experience
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is more effective in a
work place
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workplace
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. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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i
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I
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am going to discuss
this
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issue.
Firstly
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,
a
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apply
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one
mejor
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major
effect at
work place
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workplace
show examples
is
deep
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a deep
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experience
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. Recently,
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last
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the last
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statistics refer to a person who
have
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has
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experience
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is more creative than
others worker
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other workers
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.
As a result
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the product
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rat
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rate
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sharply increased that followed
income
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by income
show examples
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rat
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rate
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is grow
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grew
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. In
this
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situation
the
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apply
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popular companies have researched
about
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apply
show examples
people who have deep
experience
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.
For example
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, in Omani government
is
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apply
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always
employed
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employs
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oldest
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the oldest
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people
due to
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things they have deep
experience
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On the other hand
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,
the
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an
show examples
education
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degree
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is extremely requested in some
sactore
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sectors
store
. To clarify,
todays
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today
the most of
thing
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things
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depend on
technolody
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technology
. So, the workers
need
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need to
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have
background
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a background
the background
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about
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in
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new technology and how
deal
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to deal
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with it.
As a
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result
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result,
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the
education
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degree
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give
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gives
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the employees
chance
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a chance
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to understand and adapt
with
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to
show examples
this
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technology.
For instance
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, in Japan,
public
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the public
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should be provided
academic
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with academic
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qualifications
for
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to
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get
the
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a
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job because lifestyle there depends on technology. In conclusion,
a
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apply
show examples
experience
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is more effective at big companies
more
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apply
show examples
than
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education
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an education
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degree
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due to
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the
produce
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production
show examples
Use synonyms
rat
Correct your spelling
rate
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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growth,
in
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contrast
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contrast,
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial
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rat
Correct your spelling
rate
show examples
is
also
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increased.

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task achievement
Clarify your viewpoint in the introduction. You mention you totally disagree, but it’s important to be more explicit about your opinion on the importance of life experience compared to academic qualifications throughout the essay.
coherence
Ensure your paragraphs have clear topic sentences that reflect the main point of each paragraph. This will help the reader understand the structure of your argument better.
coherence
Use correct word forms and spelling consistently, e.g., 'major' instead of 'mejor', 'sector' instead of 'sactore', and 'technology' instead of 'technolody'. This will improve clarity and demonstrate a stronger command of language.
task achievement
Expand on your examples to make them more specific and relevant to the argument. For instance, explain why deep experience leads to creativity and how it has specifically benefited companies like the Omani government.
coherence
Use appropriate linking words to improve the flow of your essay. Words such as 'however', 'furthermore', and 'for instance' can help connect your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Your argument that life experience is important in the workplace is clearly stated, and your view is easy to understand.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your points, showing that you have a grasp of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic qualifications
  • life experience
  • personal qualities
  • standardized level of knowledge
  • theoretical foundation
  • specialized fields
  • dedication
  • work ethic
  • measure and compare
  • industries
  • healthcare
  • engineering
  • legal and safety reasons
  • certifications
  • transcripts
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