Some people believe that parents should limit their children hours of watching tv and playing computer games, but encourage to read books. Do you agree or disagree

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In
this
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technology savvy
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technology-savvy
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world, some individuals hold the
view point
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viewpoint
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that
gurdians
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guardians
should have to motivate their
kid
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kids
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to utilize
significant
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a significant
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amount of their time
while
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reading
books
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instead
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of sitting
infront
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in front
of the googlebox and playing video games as
this
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will be hazardous for their health. If asked, I firmly agree with
this
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notion. My inclination is elaborated into the
trail
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trial
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paragraphs. There are a plethora of compelling reasons. The most predominant one is for their well-being. To elaborate
further
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, if the child
use
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uses
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screen
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the screen
a screen
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for a longer period of time, it will cause eye strain
as well as
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poor posture.
For example
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,
the
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apply
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youngster who likes to play video games
whole
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the whole
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day in order to get enjoyment are more likely to have
a vision problems
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vision problems
a vision problem
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and kyphotic posture.
Moreover
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, not only does
this
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affect their upcoming years but
also
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it will alleviate their thinking ability because of the brain fog. Another striking reason is that
,
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apply
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reading
books
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can result in outstanding
result
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results
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for folks in terms of
ameliorate
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ameliorating
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their knowledge about distinct
culture
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cultures
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and
tradition
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traditions
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without watching on
internet
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the internet
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, which can be helpful for
maintain
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maintaining
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a
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apply
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physical health.
For instance
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, someone who solely
learning
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learns
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from
books
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are
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is
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more intelligent.
Nonetheless
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, some may
counter argue
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counterargue
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for a few reasons. To
embark
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begin
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with, only reading
books
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can make them mentally fragile and
introvert
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introverted
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.
In other words
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, almost all proponents
feels
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feel
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monotonous after reading for more than one hour. To illustrate
this
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,
the
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apply
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toddler
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toddlers
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who used to read a lot,
they
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apply
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have very
less
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little
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interpersonal skills as they
are
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do
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not
meeting
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meet
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new people.
Thus
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,
to conclude
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, it can be
finally
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commented that despite reading
books
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will be quite
challanging
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challenging
, my justification convinces that reading
books
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will be fruitful for enhancing the knowledge
as well as
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it will decrease the chances of having eyes and postural issues are logically acceptable.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow between your ideas by using more transition words and phrases to connect your points better.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points are supported with clear evidence and specific examples to enhance your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Clarify your introduction and conclusion to better outline your stance and summarizing your arguments.
task achievement
You've taken a clear stance on the issue, showing your agreement with the notion of encouraging reading over screen time.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as the effects of screen time on health, demonstrates your understanding of the topic.
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