Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. other believe that this is unneccesary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides and say which side you personally support.

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Families are
imperative
Correct article usage
an imperative
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part of a human's life and spending
time
Use synonyms
with them is an integral component of it.
Moreover
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, individuals belonging to certain communities think that young
ones
Use synonyms
should allocate their entire free
time
Use synonyms
to their families and spend the same with them;
however
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, a few people have an opposing perception to
this
Linking Words
ideology and they believe that using leisure
time
Use synonyms
behind your immediate
near
Correct word choice
apply
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ones
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is futile. In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
firmly side my conviction to the former belief system as that can develop a
cherising
Correct your spelling
cherishing
cheering
sense of affection amongst the family members. To commence with, spending
time
Use synonyms
with loved
ones
Use synonyms
can foster the emotion of love, compassion, empathy, and kindness within them all leading to bolstering the relationships with every other member of the family.
In addition
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, the encouragement
to
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of
show examples
this
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amendment will not
enhance
Rephrase
only enhance
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the engagement level
within
Change preposition
among
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the people living under the same roof but
also
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it will create an environment where everyone will embrace the feeling of mutual respect towards
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
.
Thus
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, by implementing
this
Linking Words
culture of using leisure moments with our own families, the probability of
staying
Verb problem
maintaining
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these relationships intact forever will rise exponentially.
For example
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, In India, most parents practice
this
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norm where it has been noticed that
emphasizng
Correct your spelling
emphasising
a
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
on spending their
time
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with their parents ends up turning them into
bestfriends
Correct your spelling
best friends
of
eachother
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each other
.
Conversely
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, on the flip side, some advocators consider
this
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prevalence as a negative or futile development as they opine that children should use their rejuvenation period for their own enjoyment rather than being
getting
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apply
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forced to utilize it
one
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once
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with their
closed
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close
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dear
ones
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.
Additionally
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, the reason behind
this
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perception is it will
drain-out
Correct your spelling
drain out
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a
younster's
Correct your spelling
youngster's
free duration completely, making them non-productive or less
skillfull
Correct your spelling
skilful
skillfully
which they might be more if the custody of that particular
time
Use synonyms
period is not controlled.
Consequently
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, the productivity rate and determination to pursue excellence will plunge eventually making these young adults
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
less prosperous in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
For instance
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, a research study proven statistics depicts that the juveniles fostering the habit of utilizing their duration after their loved
ones
Use synonyms
in an
execessive
Correct your spelling
excessive
proportion are not financially prosperous. To recapitulate, spending free duration with loved
ones
Use synonyms
should be promoted as per an analogy to elevate the emotion of affection and
also
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by
strenthening
Correct your spelling
strengthening
the relationships, which in my opinion is the constructive
though
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thought
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process in place of its
counterside
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countryside
, where a few people believe that
following
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this
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culture is meaningless as it will plunge the rate of professional enhancement of the person.

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coherence and cohesion
Focus on refining sentence structure and clarity. Some sentences are overly complex and can be confusing, making your argument less effective.
task achievement
Ensure that all points are fully developed and backed by relevant examples throughout your essay. This could help strengthen your arguments.
lexical resource
Consider using more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and presents arguments from both sides, demonstrating an understanding of the question.
task achievement
You provide a personal opinion, which adds a valuable perspective to your discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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