IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that education and high qualifications will bring success. Others think that it’s not required to achieve success in life. Discuss both views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
education
Use synonyms
 is a vital part of life,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
expecting a bright future without
this
Linking Words
 is impossible. It is believed by some individuals that
success
Use synonyms
 cannot be achieved without qualification,
while
Linking Words
 others disagree with
this
Linking Words
 perception.
As per
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my opinion,
education
Use synonyms
 plays a significant role in a human’s life, and achieving
success
Use synonyms
 is not possible without it.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
education
Use synonyms
 provides basic knowledge to
people
Use synonyms
 that can help them to get some awareness about the world. It gives information about basic fundamentals
such
Linking Words
 as mathematics, science,
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
, history and language. From childhood to adulthood, we can learn everything through
education
Use synonyms
. In the present era, the world has evolved , and
people
Use synonyms
 are surrounded by advanced technology.
Moreover
Linking Words
, everything has been done with the assistance of
education
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as tall buildings and
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 inventions.
Although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 have achieved
success
Use synonyms
 without any certified qualification, the matter of fact is that they took a long period of time to attain
success
Use synonyms
. In recent times, becoming a successful person is quite easy compared to the past, when
people
Use synonyms
 spend their entire lives doing hard
word
Correct your spelling
work
show examples
. There are many achievers
such
Linking Words
 as Elon Musk and Virat Kholi, who influence others to follow the same path,
however
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 do not know
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how many hours they
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spent on their skills to excel in their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. Getting influenced by someone’s
success
Use synonyms
 is way easier than actually noticing the phase of struggles of one’s life
To conclude
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 achieving
success
Use synonyms
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 not a big task for anyone can achieve
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, one needs to be working consistently on their goals and objectives. Academics can provide
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great support to
people
Use synonyms
 to gain achievements in their lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The introduction presents the topic but could be clearer in stating both sides of the argument more distinctly.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support each point made, particularly when discussing successful individuals who achieved success without formal education.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are slightly long and could be broken down for clarity. Try to ensure each sentence addresses one clear idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to provide a smooth transition between ideas, especially when shifting from one point to another in your paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the importance of education in achieving success, which is a strong aspect of the response.
task achievement
The acknowledgment of alternative perspectives adds depth to your argument and shows balanced thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: