IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the most effective way to solve traffic and pollution problems is to encourage people to move from suburbs into the city. To what extent do you agree and disagree.

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It is suggested that the most
efficent
Correct your spelling
efficient
 way to tackle car jams and
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
 is to migrate the population from country side to the
city
Use synonyms
 centers, I disagree with the
satement
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statement
, and
belive
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believe
show examples
 the increased residents will
also
Linking Words
 increase the use of motor
vehicals contibuting
Correct your spelling
vehicles contributing
 more towards
pollution
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. Encouraging the population living in rural places to move into the urban
area
Use synonyms
 will be beneficial if the
cities
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 have good infrastructure and space to allocate them.
This
Linking Words
 is because most of the
suburbans
Correct your spelling
suburbs
 have jobs in the
city
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, They have to travel every morning from their
home
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 causing traffic jams and
pollution
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.Vehicles caught in traffic emit more poisonous gases
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the atmosphere and
thus
Linking Words
 increase air
pollution
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.
By contrast
Linking Words
, if they live in a place near their office in the
city
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, they can reduce their travelling time and distance.
This
Linking Words
 will solve travel problems.
Hence
Linking Words
, if the
cities
Use synonyms
 have sufficient infrastructure to accommodate all of these folk, it is certainly a great solution to movement and
pollution
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 issues. But
this
Linking Words
 is not the case now as the
cities
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are lacking
Wrong verb form
lack
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 the space and infrastructure to adapt to
this
Linking Words
 change. The best way to resolve
this
Linking Words
 issue is to
encorage buisness
Correct your spelling
encourage businesses
 to operate in rural areas or
allowing
Wrong verb form
allow
show examples
employee
Add an article
the employee
an employee
show examples
 to work from
home
Use synonyms
,
for
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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IT and
E-commerse
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E-commerce
 allow their workforce to work from their own
home
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, reducing the need to travel to
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 office will add to the tally of reduce
vehicals
Correct your spelling
vehicles
 and
pollution
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.
Firthermore
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Furthermore
, setting
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
 in rural
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area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 will introduce more jobs and create more
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 for the rural
area
Use synonyms
 to develop into an urban
area
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 itself. In conclusion, Since
cities
Use synonyms
 are already overcrowded
then
Linking Words
 moving the community from rural places to the
city
Use synonyms
 with an aim to reduce transit and
pollution
Use synonyms
 is not a practically good solution.It would be better if we encourage companies to set up their businesses in suburban areas and by offering work from
home
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Consider refining your thesis statement to clearly present your main argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure topic sentences in each paragraph clearly relate back to the main question, emphasizing your stance.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and ideas.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear disagreement with the idea of moving people to cities as a solution, which shows a strong position.
task achievement
You provided examples, such as telecommuting opportunities, which support your arguments effectively.
coherence and cohesion
You made a good attempt at presenting a balanced view of the issue concerning rural and urban settings.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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