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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below gives information on the number of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

The graph below gives information on the number of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
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The graph illustrates the given data on the
number
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 of
participants
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 engaged in a variety of activities at one social
center
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centre
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 around Melbourne and Australia between 2000 and 2020. In general, it is evident that the information was initiated in 2000 with the only exception being musical performances.
Additionally
Linking Words
, musical performances and table tennis
along with
Linking Words
 Amateur dramatics activities all had upward and downward trends.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Film
club
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Club
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 and Martial
arts
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Arts
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 experienced a more stable flow throughout the period. In terms of musical performances, It
initially
Linking Words
 had 0
participants
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 in 2005.
This
Linking Words
 later on gained popularity and went up to about 10
participants
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 in 2010 before having a continuous
climp
Correct your spelling
climb
 throughout the period.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
number
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 peaked at approximately 16
participants
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.
Similarly
Linking Words
, table tennis at first saw
a more unremarkable changes
Correct the article-noun agreement
a more unremarkable change
more unremarkable changes
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 and only had a slight increase from 17 to 20
participants
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 in 2010.
This
Linking Words
 figure skyrocketed in the next 10 years, standing at more than 50
participants
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 in 2020. Alternatively, Amateur dramatics witnessed a different route as it originally escalated to a marginal
number
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 of nearly 30
participants
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.
However
Linking Words
, it significantly plummeted and in 2020,
this
Linking Words
number
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 stood at around 5
participants
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Martial
art
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arts
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 commenced
at
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with
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 almost 40
participants
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.
This
Linking Words
 activity didn’t
had
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have
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 an extensive incline nor decline like the mentioned activities but
instead
Linking Words
 a more steady trend and had the same
number
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 of
participants
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 in 2020. Equally, there was only
unremarkable
Correct article usage
an unremarkable
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 reduction in film club before slightly increasing to its original
number
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 of roughly 65
participants
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.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, participants with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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