IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph shows the number of deaths caused by terrorist attacks in three countries between 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the number of deaths caused by terrorist attacks in three countries between 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The mortality number of
terrorist
Add an article
the terrorist
a terrorist
show examples
 victim in
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 most dangerous conflict nations during the
year
Use synonyms
 2011 until 2015 are presented in the line chart.
Overall
Linking Words
, the amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
deaths
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
significantly rose for three years in a row, but
then
Linking Words
 slowly dropped in the latest period. Iraq is the most unstable nation with the largest rate of people killed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
terrorist attacks,
while
Linking Words
 Afghanistan is
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 bottom
in
Change preposition
of
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 the rankings.
In
Change the preposition
At
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 the beginning of 2011, the murder occasions are nearly
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same level,
that
Change preposition
with
show examples
 around 3000 people in all representative nations.
Then
Linking Words
, it follows by the decline of the line slightly to approximately about 2500
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. Starting from 2012, the total
individuals
Correct quantifier usage
number of individuals
show examples
died
Correct pronoun usage
who died
show examples
 caused by terrorism across these three countries
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dramatically arise where the same peak
happenned
Correct your spelling
happened
 in 2014. Despite
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 its highest number,
Afganishtan
Correct your spelling
Afghanistan
 still
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the lowest with only 4500
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
show examples
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
 recorded from the conflicts. Meanwhile, the total
human
Fix the agreement mistake
number of humans
show examples
shot
Correct pronoun usage
who shot
show examples
 and died in Iraq is
found
Verb problem
apply
show examples
around 9000 in numbers.
In otherside
Replace the word
On the other hand
show examples
, Nigeria
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 a sharp decrease in the victims after
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 top
year
Use synonyms
 in 2014 with only below 5000 deaths,
reduce
Replace the word
a reduction
show examples
 from 7200 in the
year
Use synonyms
 before.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
was also
show examples
 followed by Iraq with the reduction in the number of victims in 2015.
Comparing
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
 with two other nations, the effects
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
terrorism in Afghanistan did not show
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
down
Correct word choice
downward
show examples
 movement as it
keep
Change the verb form
keeps
show examples
 increasing every
year
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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