IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the average monthly temperatures in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates the average monthly
temperature
Use synonyms
 in Paris, Dubai, and
sydney
Change the capitalization
Sydney
show examples
 for 1
year
Use synonyms
 period.
Overall
Linking Words
, all the cities
flutuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
 in as the months
goes
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 by, with Paris and Dubai following
similar
Add an article
a similar
show examples
 trend.
while
Linking Words
sydney
Change the capitalization
Sydney
show examples
 has been
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 top
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 and the end of the
year
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, Sydney has the lowest
temperature
Use synonyms
 at the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the
year
Use synonyms
, with
weather
Add an article
the weather
show examples
 at slightly below 25
Use synonyms
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
.
This
Linking Words
 was
then
Linking Words
 followed by
continues
Replace the word
continuous
show examples
 decline reaching
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 lowest in
july
Change the capitalization
July
show examples
 at approximately 13
Use synonyms
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
 a steady rise until
december
Change the capitalization
December
show examples
,
which
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 rose to around 23
Use synonyms
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Dubai's
temperature
Use synonyms
 started
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 just below 20
Use synonyms
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
 in January, and
this
Linking Words
 figure steadily
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 until it peaked
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 just above 35
Use synonyms
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 in August, being the highest number. After
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
, a constant fall in
temperature
Use synonyms
 is seen, dropping to about 22
Use synonyms
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
celcius
Correct your spelling
celsius
 in December.
Similarly
Linking Words
, Paris
begin
Change the verb form
begins
show examples
 the as the highest weather at exactly 5
Use synonyms
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 in January. Despite the variation
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
throughout the months, it drop declined
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
year
Use synonyms
, falling back to 5
Use synonyms
degree
Change to a plural noun
degrees
show examples
 in December.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, year, degree with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly temperatures
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • seasonal trends
  • geographical location
  • climate variation
  • urbanization
  • temperature range
  • comparison
  • data representation
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