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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows average weekly earning of full-time workers in the USA in 2013 according to sex and race Summarise the information by selecting and rreporting the main features ,and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows average weekly earning of full-time workers in the USA in 2013 according to sex and race Summarise the information by selecting and rreporting the main features ,and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart provides information about the average
salaries
Use synonyms
 paid to full-time employees per week in dollars in the
USA
Use synonyms
 in 2013
according to
Linking Words
 gender and race .
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the statistics that Asian workers have the highest
salaries
Use synonyms
 .
In addition
Linking Words
 ,
men
Use synonyms
's income in the
USA
Use synonyms
 is higher than
women
Use synonyms
's
earnings
Use synonyms
. With regard to the two greatest race
earnings
Use synonyms
 in the
USA
Use synonyms
 . Asian
men
Use synonyms
's income was much higher than
women
Use synonyms
's and the difference between them was about 300$ . White
people
Use synonyms
 took home the second-best
salaries
Use synonyms
 but
men
Use synonyms
's
salaries
Use synonyms
 were approximately 850$ .Compared to
women
Use synonyms
's weekly incomes which were only around 700$. Turning to the lowest race incomes in the
USA
Use synonyms
 ,In 2013 Black
people
Use synonyms
 earned in total about 610$ and females and males were almost equal with 600$ per week for
women
Use synonyms
 and a little more than 600$ weekly for
men
Use synonyms
 .Hispanic
people
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
earnings
Use synonyms
 of full-time workers in the
USA
Use synonyms
 ,which were less than 600$ .
However
Linking Words
, Hispanic
men
Use synonyms
's incomes were higher than the Hispanic
women
Use synonyms
's wage per week . The average weekly
earnings
Use synonyms
 for all
people
Use synonyms
 who worked full-time jobs were just less than 800$ .
While
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
's took home were far more than
women
Use synonyms
's .

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salaries, usa, men, women, earnings, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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