IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an aparment?

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There is no denying
fact
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the fact
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 that the
phenomena
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phenomenon
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 of living
an
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in an
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 apartment is ubiquitous
the
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around the
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 globe
due to
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 its importance.
Majority
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The majority
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 of folks are in favour of
this
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 statement
dere
Correct your spelling
due
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 to its number of merits.
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However
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However,
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 some of the
people
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 highlight its demerits first. In my
further
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 paragraphs,
advantages
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the advantages
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 and disadvantages of
same
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the same
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 will be discussed. Initiating, with benefits of the same, the first and foremost key benefit is that
,
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apply
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 staying in apartments is cost-effective and it lets the
people
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 free from all the responsibilities.
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, residents of apartments do not have to worry about the maintenance of buildings and utilities. They can access every facility
such
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 as hydro, water, swimming pool, gym area, and parking at just one cost. Another benefit that can strike the minds of the
people
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 is the safety and security of houses, as nobody can enter the whole building without permission or identity cards.
For example
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, if someone has to enter
in
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apply
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the building that person must be part of that apartment or there should be a relative or friend, who belongs to the same building. On its darker side, some of the drawbacks that make it problematic are,
firstly
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 noisy
neighborhood
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neighborhoods
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 can be the major problem of living in apartments, as,
people
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 can choose their friends but cannot choose their
neighbors
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neighbours
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, so they have to live whatever they have.
Secondly
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, they have to access shared but very limited amenities, like if someone wants to swim in
swimming
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the swimming
a swimming
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 pool,
firstly
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 they need to book an appointment with management
before
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apply
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one week ago,
hence
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 it is restricting their freedom to enjoy the facilities. In conclusion, to
above
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the above
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 statement, neither its pros can be neglected nor its cons. It is a mixed bag of positive and negative. In my opinion, the statement should not be underestimated.

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task achievement
Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to outline your position more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs and ensure each paragraph clearly supports your main argument.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to strengthen your points and make them more relatable to the reader.
task achievement
The essay presents both pros and cons of living in an apartment, which provides a balanced view on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay follows a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which is essential for coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • residential preferences
  • property ownership
  • private dwelling
  • shared facilities
  • urban vs suburban living
  • customization
  • sustainability
  • appreciation of property value
  • real estate market
  • housing tenure
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