n the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays, more and more people have more than one job at the same time. What are the reasons for this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one job?

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Maybe, 20 years ago, most

people

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only needed

one

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job to feed their family or themselves.

However

Linking Words

, things have changed in recent years. More and more

people

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need to have

one

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more job to support their family's living.

This

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seems not to be a positive trend, and many citizens are likely to struggle with

this

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trend. More importantly, it is necessary to understand

this

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trend. The main reason for

this

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circumstance could be an increase in the cost of living. As a society develops, it possibly brings

inflation

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One

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sign of

inflation

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is that everything becomes more expensive.

As a consequence

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people

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might not be able to afford their current living standards.

For example

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according to

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the news, the USA is facing

inflation

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right now. Many

people

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find that they are struggling with their rents because, in some areas, rents have become double the amount compared to the cost of renting a home a few years ago. In order to pay rent,

people

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have to work

two

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jobs

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at the same

time

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. Facing

inflation

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, some

people

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, especially the working class, consider it a negative influence because

people

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need to work more to survive.

However

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, there are benefits and drawbacks to working

two

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jobs

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at the same

time

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One

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significant drawback would be that

people

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do not have enough personal

time

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For example

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, a person who works at a cafe from 8:00 am to 3:00 pm, but

this

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person's second job starts at 5:00 pm at a restaurant and finishes at 9:00 pm. After a busy workday,

this

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person might not have

time

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to deal with their personal life because long working hours lead to no energy left to cope with other things. Despite

this

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drawback,

one

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benefit of

two

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jobs

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could be more

money

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. And

this

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is the main reason why

people

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have

two

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jobs

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Although

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many

people

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do not think that more

money

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could be a benefit, the fact is that

people

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need the

money

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from working

two

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jobs

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. In conclusion, even though

two

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jobs

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bring more

money

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, it is not a good way to have a comfortable life.

Additionally

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inflation

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could make

people

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have to work more to pay their rent.

ysh424Mon Feb 10 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Expand your introduction to provide a clearer overview of the essay's structure.

task achievement

While your examples are relevant, try to include more specific examples to further strengthen your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Consider using transition words to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.

task achievement

You effectively identify inflation as a key reason for multiple jobs, which is relevant and clear.

task achievement

You provided a well-explained example of how working two jobs can affect personal time, illustrating the drawback clearly.

coherence and cohesion

Your conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points of the essay, reinforcing your stance.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

363 words

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n the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays, more and more people have more than one job at the same time. What are the reasons for this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one job?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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The internet could revolutionize the world in the future, if everyone could have easy access to all information that is available on the World Wide Web. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?