IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Write a letter to the manager of your insurance company. -Describe the item you lost -How you lost it -What you would like the insurance company to do for you.

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Dear Mr. Smith, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform you about my lost phone when
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 was travelling from Melbourne to Sydney by train on
02nd
Correct article usage
the 02nd
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 of July. I bought
this
Linking Words
 device which is
Correct article usage
an Iphone-14
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Iphone-14
Correct your spelling
iPhone-14
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, black in colour, in 2018 and
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 was primarily using
this
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 to store all my business documents including bank statements.
Further
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, the main screen had my photo and my daughter, holding some flowers in her hand which is really easy for anybody to identify and the back of the phone cover, had my wife's photo as well. I was commuting by public train on 2nd July from Melbourne to Sydney and was seated next to an older woman who was really nice to me during the journey.
However
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, it was a long journey of 8 hours and
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 had to sleep for a certain period
while
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 my phone was locked in my bag. Later on, when
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 looked up from sleep,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 noticed that my bag
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 not there anymore on the seat and
lady
Correct article usage
the lady
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has
Verb problem
was
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 nowhere to be seen either. I would appreciate,
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
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 you could trace back the ticket numbers and identify the lady who sat on
B65
Correct article usage
the B65
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 seat, next to
my self
Correct pronoun usage
me
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. I will attach all my ticket details which will lead you to access information from
Victoria
Correct article usage
the Victoria
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rail
Capitalize word
Rail
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 department. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Deeshan.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure to use proper punctuation and capitalization in formal letters (e.g., 'I' instead of 'i').
task achievement
Consider adding a more formal greeting and closing, such as 'Dear Mr. Smith,' and 'Yours faithfully,' if you do not know the person well.
task achievement
Make sure to clarify your request to the insurance company more explicitly at the end of the letter.
task achievement
The letter provides a clear description of the lost item and the circumstances of its loss.
coherence and cohesion
The structure is logical, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
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