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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The given table ratio of students China gave commentary during in three years 2000,2005 and 2010.

The given table ratio of students China gave commentary during in three years 2000,2005 and 2010.
The given table ratio of students
China
Change preposition
in China
show examples
 gave commentary during in three
years
Use synonyms
 2000,2005 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is
obviously
Change the word
obvious
show examples
 that,
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of pupils
contribute
Wrong verb form
contributing
show examples
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 percentage for Technical Quality,Print
Resources
Use synonyms
 and Electronic
Resources
Use synonyms
 soared high significantly. The other two
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
show examples
,
Correct article usage
the exeption
show examples
exeption
Correct your spelling
exception
exemption
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
building
Add an article
the building
show examples
 changed slightly, because
teaching
Correct article usage
the teaching
show examples
 facilities are stable.
Expanding
Correct article usage
The expanding
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
part of
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 votes for Print
Resources
Use synonyms
 showed
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
87% and preceded Technical
Resources
Use synonyms
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 22 percentages in
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 year. Electronic
Resources
Use synonyms
 increased every five
years
Use synonyms
 during all decade.
Use synonyms
Range
Correct article usage
The range
show examples
 of
modules
Use synonyms
 offered changed during ten
years
Use synonyms
 with its decreasing, 2-3 % difference. According
o
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the table, all facilities increased during five
years
Use synonyms
,
exeption
Correct your spelling
exception
exemption
 of
Range
Use synonyms
 of
modules
Use synonyms
 offered and building. One of them underwent
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 down,
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 was unchanged from 2000 to 2010. The result of represents table Technical Quality and
Use synonyms
range
Correct article usage
the range
show examples
 of
modules
Use synonyms
 offered
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
slightly
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 in 2005 and
Use synonyms
range
Correct article usage
the range
show examples
 of
modules
Use synonyms
 offered fell again
2010
Change preposition
in 2010
show examples
only
Change preposition
by only
show examples
 3 %.
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
 in 2010 Print
Resources
Use synonyms
 and Electronic
Resources
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 levelled
of
Replace the word
off
show examples
.
Building
Add an article
The building
show examples
 became stable.
While
Linking Words
 Technical Quality rose
6
Change preposition
by 6
show examples
%,
Use synonyms
range
Correct article usage
the range
show examples
 of
modules
Use synonyms
 offered decreased
5
Change preposition
by 5
show examples
% during the ten
years
Use synonyms
.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, resources, range, modules with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "ratio" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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