IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that
employees
Use synonyms
 should have an extended
weekend
Use synonyms
 longer than working
days
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. In my perspective, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view because they are responsible for their jobs' demands and must be effectively
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
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 in a precise
time
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, so they can enjoy their quality
time
Use synonyms
 on
Use synonyms
weekend
Add an article
the weekend
a weekend
show examples
. On the
first
Correct word choice
other
show examples
 hand,
workers
Use synonyms
 have to fulfill their duties in their professional occupations. They need to
consentrate
Correct your spelling
concentrate
 on their tasks and set their professional goals. As a case in
this
Linking Words
 point, staff are easily distracted and have unclear targets
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 assignment.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they waste amounts of
time
Use synonyms
 that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been set as working
hous
Correct your spelling
hours
 and need extra
time
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 to accomplish their task.
Therefore
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,
workers
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 possibly might not complete their obligations within a
shortcoming
Replace the word
short time of
show examples
 working
days
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, unfinished business will potentially burden
employees
Use synonyms
 by sacrificing their
Use synonyms
weekend
Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
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.
While
Linking Words
 a longer
weekend
Use synonyms
 might seem to be a desirable benefit for
workers
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, it often results in unpaid
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. For
intance
Correct your spelling
instance
, staff found themselves captivated
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 never-ending
work
Use synonyms
, when they were required to join an online meeting with their teams on Saturday night or even on Sunday morning. A longer
weekend
Use synonyms
 possibly could not guarantee
this
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 would change as it was.
On the other hand
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,
workers
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 need
an accurate and restricted working
Correct the article-noun agreement
an accurate and restricted working day
accurate and restricted working days
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days
Use synonyms
 as a boundary for their
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work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
 balance.
This
Linking Words
 idea arises because
employees
Use synonyms
 nowadays have an awareness to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 their quality of life by separating a certain
time
Use synonyms
 for working and other aspects of life,
such
Linking Words
 as family and religious activities. It is better for them
enjoying
Change the verb form
to enjoy
show examples
 a short
weekend
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 with
rigourous
Correct your spelling
rigorous
 quality, rather than having a long
weekend
Use synonyms
 disrupted by their jobs.
Therefore
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,
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
 should enforce restricted working hours to ensure
employees
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 have adequate
time
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 to rest.
To conclude
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, I strongly disagree with the view to prolong
Use synonyms
weekend
Correct article usage
the weekend
show examples
 without any efficacy to enjoy it, and stand for an efficient five
days
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 to
work
Use synonyms
 to achieve
workers
Use synonyms
' obligations professionally.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument and maintains focus throughout without deviating from the topic. Consider breaking down complex sentences for better clarity.
task achievement
Provide more relevant examples to support your points; for instance, discuss specific professions where longer weekends might be problematic or reference studies about work-life balance.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue, articulating a disagreement with the idea of longer weekends effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is generally clear, with distinct paragraphs for different points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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