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Band 5.5

The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table represents the proportion of
participation
Use synonyms
 of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in senior management in (
Correct your spelling
Aidan
elder
eldan
Use synonyms
 Ltd, Bamforth
L
Use synonyms
td
Use synonyms
 and Finsbury
L
Use synonyms
td
Use synonyms
)
among
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1975 to 2015.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there were a number of fluctuations
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
participation
Correct article usage
the participation
show examples
 of women
such
Linking Words
 as in 1975,
Eldan
Use synonyms
L
Use synonyms
td
Use synonyms
 was
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 lowest
participation
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 period ,
while
Linking Words
 in 2015,
Eldan
Use synonyms
L
Use synonyms
td
Use synonyms
 was a common
participation
Use synonyms
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 women.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Bamforth
L
Use synonyms
td
Use synonyms
 registered at 9% in 1975,
however
Linking Words
, in 2015 increasing
sharp
Change the adjective
sharply
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about
Change preposition
to about
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 46%.
Finally
Linking Words
, Finsbury
L
Use synonyms
td
Use synonyms
 declined dramatically in 1980 and in 2015
reashed
Correct your spelling
reached
 a round 26%. In conclusion, at the beginning of
Correct article usage
the poriod
show examples
Correct your spelling
period
poriod
Add a comma
poriod,
show examples
 the
Eldan
Use synonyms
L
Use synonyms
td
Use synonyms
experience
Wrong verb form
experienced
show examples
 a downward trend of
participation
Use synonyms
 of women,
while
Linking Words
, it showed an upward
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words participation, eldan, l, td with synonyms.
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