IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduces the ammount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no doubt that these days
the
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apply
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modern forms of communication
habeen
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have been
 playing a significant role in
a
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apply
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society. The question is, what is the main drawback of that? In
this
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essay
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essay,
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i
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I
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 am going to discuss
this
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 issue.
Firstly
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, the one major disadvantage of social
media
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 is a lack
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of relationship
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relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 in
community
Add an article
the community
a community
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 . To explain, today
the
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apply
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people
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 depend on new technology for communication with families and friends. That reflected negatively on
contact
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 among
people
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, as a result
the
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of the
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 weak
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 in society.
For example
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, recently, the researchers
notice
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noticed
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 around 67%
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people
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of people
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who
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apply
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depend on social
media
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 for
contact
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 with family and 33 % public
who
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apply
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visited
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visit
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 family every weekend.
Thus
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, the
reduce
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reduced
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 relationship in society is one negative side of modern forms of communication.
On the other hand
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,
the
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apply
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social
media
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 is a good method to keep
time
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especially
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, especially
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 a employees. To clarify, a number of workers prefer to
contact
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with
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apply
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the
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apply
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others
by
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through
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 social
media
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 because
these category
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this category
these categories
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 of
people
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 do not have
a
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apply
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time
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 to visit their relatives. So they use an email and message to do that.
For instance
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, my brother in the US ,
he
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apply
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commutes with his family in Oman daily.
Additionally
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, it is cheaper than the other way. The
people
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 do not need to pay costly for
contact
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 with family. In conclusion,
the
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apply
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new technology
is reduce
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reduces
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a
Correct article usage
the
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time
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 to
met
Wrong verb form
meet
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 friends. But
onther
Correct your spelling
other
 side to keep
time
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 and not costly especially workers.

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Language
Improve sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity. For example, revise 'habbeen playing' to 'have been playing'.
Content
Ensure that points are well supported with clear examples. Some examples could be further elaborated upon for better comprehension.
Language
Use more varied vocabulary to express ideas, such as replacing 'good method' with 'effective means' or 'positive approach'.
Content
You highlight both the negative and positive aspects of modern communication.
Structure
The essay structure is clear with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instant messaging
  • Virtual friendships
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Social isolation
  • Emotional connection
  • Superficial relationships
  • Mental health issues
  • Social norms
  • Digital communication
  • In-person meetings
  • Quality of social interactions
  • Unparalleled convenience
  • Human beings are social animals
  • Prioritize convenience
  • Meaningful social experiences
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