IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Government should make more effort to promote alternative sources of energy. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Given reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era, it is very important to have
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 ways to generate
energy
Use synonyms
, to
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
this
Linking Words
 government plays a very crucial role in
save
Replace the word
saving
show examples
 natural
Use synonyms
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 and
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
subsitute
Correct your spelling
substitute
 ideas to make
energy
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elucidate my strong agreement on the topic in the subsequent paragraphs. The main reason is the depletion of natural resources. Today, gasoline is available only in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 around the world. The extraction of
petrol
Use synonyms
 from the earth increases every year because of the rise in global demand. For sure,
this
Linking Words
 natural resource will not be available forever. So, it is a must that
countries
Use synonyms
 with high technology develop various
sources
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 in order not to run out of
petrol
Use synonyms
 in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 decades. There are some initiatives from many
countries
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 direction;
for instance
Linking Words
,
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of solar
energy
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
source
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 has become much
affordable
Correct quantifier usage
more affordable
show examples
 today than 10 years back.
Hence
Linking Words
 it is important to develop
this
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
source
Use synonyms
 so that many ordinary people will be able to afford to pay. The
last
Linking Words
 important reason for the requirement for various
sources
Use synonyms
 of power
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased
Replace the word
increase
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 is the cost of
petrol
Use synonyms
 because of higher demand and
reduction
Correct article usage
the reduction
show examples
 in the level of natural
deposit
Fix the agreement mistake
deposits
show examples
 underneath
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the earth. When
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 around the world spend sufficient funds in developing technical know-how of bio and solar
energies
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 provide farmers with subsidies, the prices of these alternative
sources
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
energies
Fix the agreement mistake
energy
show examples
 may become cheaper or close to the cost of
petrol
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 will encourage
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 to switch to
utilise
Wrong verb form
utilising
show examples
 other
sources
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
energies
Fix the agreement mistake
energy
show examples
. In conclusion, it is imperative that
countries
Use synonyms
 around the world invest sufficient
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 in developing different
sources
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
energies
Fix the agreement mistake
energy
show examples
 as the current
source
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 increases
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is not sustainable for a long time
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
 will become very expensive in
near
Correct article usage
the near
show examples
 future.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to provide clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure your conclusion summarizes your main arguments more succinctly for clarity.
task achievement
Expand on your examples to provide more context and relevance to your arguments.
task achievement
You effectively present valid reasons for promoting alternative sources of energy, showcasing the importance of government intervention.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which is essential for clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • combat climate change
  • carbon emissions
  • renewable energy
  • energy security
  • fossil fuels
  • energy independence
  • economic growth
  • job creation
  • technological innovation
  • research and development
What to do next:
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