Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It
is argue
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is argued
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that voluntary
community
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service should be added as a part of high school subjects,
such
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as charity work, helping the people
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besides
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beside
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you
lived
Verb problem
apply
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or holding
activites
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activities
to
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for
show examples
younger students.
This
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essay completely agrees with
this
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view because free
community
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service can
enhanced
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enhance
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adolescents
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adolescents'
adolescent's
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patience and
able
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ability
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to collaborate with others. The main reason
to
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for
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senior students is
aimed
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apply
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that they can be more
patience
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patient
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. Most
of
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apply
show examples
senior
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the senior
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students solely
focusing
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focus
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on their
study
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studies
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and
looking
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look
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for having
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to have
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a high grade to
enroll
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enrol
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the
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on the
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university, so they do not have
chance
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a chance
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to
experienced
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experience
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activities
that
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apply
show examples
Add a missing verb
are out
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out
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outside
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of learning. If
school
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the school
a school
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provides certain
program
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programs
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like having a chance
to
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for
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youth to serve
elder
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the elder
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,
such
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as chatting with them.
Elderly
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The elderly
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who might speak
slow
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slowly
show examples
and not easily understand they said, they need to repeat their word to them which
enhance
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enhances
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their understanding and
learn
Verb problem
helps teach them
show examples
how to communicate with elder people.
Voluntray
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Voluntary
community
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service for
teenengers
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teenagers
also
Linking Words
increase
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increases
show examples
the chance for them to collaborate with others. Young people
learned
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learn
show examples
and
spent
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spend
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time in the
community
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such
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as holding activities
to
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in
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their neighbourhood,
this
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increase
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increased
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
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have to collaborate with others to tackle the
problem
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problems
show examples
they
had
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have
show examples
.
For example
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,
such
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as they held a handcrafted workshop, they
have
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had
show examples
to think about designing
poster
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posters
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, budget planning and logistics.
This
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could not learned from
textbookm
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textbooks
textbook
,
whereas
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this
Linking Words
help
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helps
show examples
them learn communication skills and
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
skills. In conclusion, free
community
Use synonyms
support should be part of the high school program because it helps
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
to be more
tolerate
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tolerant
show examples
and the skills of collaboration.

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Task Achievement
Consider improving your thesis statement to clearly communicate your stance on the issue in a more structured manner. For example, specify that you believe community service not only benefits students but also the community at large.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure proper spelling and grammatical accuracy. For instance, 'enhanced' should be 'enhances', and 'teenengers' should be spelled 'teenagers'. These inaccuracies can detract from your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to provide a broader range of vocabulary and varied sentence structures to enhance the sophistication of your writing. This will make your essay more engaging and persuasive.
Task Achievement
You have a clear stance on the topic and present relevant points that support your belief in the compulsory nature of community service, which is commendable.
Task Achievement
You effectively introduced examples to support your arguments, such as serving the elderly and organizing workshops, which enrich your points significantly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
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