IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Although
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science
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 has numerous advantages for humankind, improving the way
people
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 live is the main target of
science
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development
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. I completely agree with
this
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 statement as
science
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 plays an important role in the
development
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 of medicine and it
also
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act
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acts
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 as an enabler for the latest inventions, which eventually will make
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people’s
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 lives easier. Health is one of the most important aspects in
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people’s
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 lives that improved
due to
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science
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development
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.
This
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 is because the proliferation of
science
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 allows the
development
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 of sophisticated medical equipment that
able
Add a missing verb
is able
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cure
Fix the infinitive
to cure
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people’s
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 chronic
illness
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illnesses
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 easier compared to the past.
As a result
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,
people
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 can live a better and longer
life
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.
For example
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, kidney stones, which could only be cured through
a
Correct article usage
apply
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massive surgery in the past, can now be cured using only laser beams from outside the body to destroy the stones. Other than
medical
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the medical
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 area,
science
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also
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 plays a crucial part in
the
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apply
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modern inventions,
such
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 as mobile phones. If
people
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 use
a
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the
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 right invention properly to help them solve their problems, it tends to make
people
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live
Replace the word
lives
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 easier, which
led
Wrong verb form
leads
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 to the improvement of
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people’s
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 quality of
life
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.
For instance
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, the utilization of smartphones allows a lot of
people
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 to communicate and exchange information from one to another seamlessly. The proper usage of smartphones,
such
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 as for client meetings and analyzing data, could benefit the users by making them more productive and making their
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 easier. In conclusion, I totally agree that the main
objectives
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objective
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 of
science
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 is to provide
people
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 with
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 quality of
life
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.
This
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 is because the involvement of
science
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 is mandatory in the
development
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 of modern medicine and sophisticated inventions, which will eventually increase
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people’s
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lives
Wrong verb form
living
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standard
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standards
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your overall argument and is logically connected.
task response
Consider addressing potential counterarguments to further strengthen your position.
overall improvement
Try to vary your vocabulary and sentence structures to engage the reader better.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples to support the main points, such as advancements in medical technology and the use of smartphones.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which sets a good tone for the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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