Many people say that universities should only offer places to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people of all ages, even if they did not do well at school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The importance of education , which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many
people
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claiming that only young pupils with higher grades should
be admit
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be admitted
show examples
in
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to
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big colleges
while
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others
rejects
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reject
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this
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notion and believe that all ages should be welcomed by them
in
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at
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any stage of age .
This
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essay will
further
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elaborate my views for favoring
former
Correct article usage
the former
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proposition
more
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as more
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rational. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
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, the first and foremost reason behind is that admission based on academic performance helps maintain the quality and reputation of the institution.
Secondly
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,
High grade
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High-grade
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students
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bring more admissions and profit to the organizations by advertising their success to others .
Moreover
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,
merit based
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merit-based
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admisssion
Correct your spelling
admission
admissions
are typically more prepared for rigorous academic challenges, leading to better outcomes for the individual and the institution.
For example
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,
State
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States
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and
nation
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nations
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always organize
competition
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competitions
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between colleges and give them
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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to prove their
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students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
ability
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abilities
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, so if colleges have
sharp minded
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sharp-minded
show examples
students
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, they can achieve success easily . Probing ahead , one of the main underlying
reason
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reasons
show examples
stems from the fact
is
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apply
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that older
students
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ask more questions during the lecture which causes
interruption
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interruptions
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towards the class.
However
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, apart from the reason mentioned above , some
people
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denying
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deny
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the fact , they
argued
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argue
show examples
that everyone should get equal opportunity to study and gain knowledge . Rejecting candidates with lower marks ignores the potential of the individuals who may have
faces
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faced
show examples
challenges in their earlier education.
Besides
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this
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,
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
should consider factors like determination, resilience and experience beyond just grades.
Furthermore
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, offering opportunities to a wider range of
students
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can bring more experience and promote more personal development and lifelong education. In conclusion to the arguments aforementioned above , one can reach
to
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apply
show examples
a gist that
high grade
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high-grade
show examples
students
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get more enrolled in universities rather than older
aged
Verb problem
apply
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people
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and
lower
Add a missing verb
have lower
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marks
people
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.

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task achievement
Clarify your position more explicitly in the introduction and conclusion to enhance your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs logically connect with clear topic sentences to improve coherence.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments, which will strengthen your points.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced view by discussing both perspectives on university admissions.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay effectively identifies some key reasons for both sides of the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • admissions
  • academic performance
  • non-traditional students
  • diverse backgrounds
  • educational environment
  • resilience
  • determination
  • lifelong learning
  • personal development
  • rigorous academic challenges
  • potential
  • merit-based admissions
  • inclusive admissions
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