IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many small businesses should avoid recruiting younger women who do not have their own families in order to avoid paying maternity leave later on. Do you agree or disagree?

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A starting
company
Use synonyms
 outright
to ignore
Change the verb form
ignores
show examples
 young
women
Use synonyms
 who do not have their own children in order to avoid expenses
birth
Change preposition
for birth
show examples
. I
agrre
Correct your spelling
agree
 with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the expenditure will increase and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
married
women
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
considerable experience.
Frist
Correct your spelling
First
show examples
, spending
money
Use synonyms
 will be raised because of the needed life and the expensive lifestyle.In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
married
women
Use synonyms
 who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 kids will think twice before getting a new child.
Moreover
Linking Words
, taking care of
childern
Correct your spelling
children
also
Linking Words
 needs
money
Use synonyms
 so that will be a considerate
opstical
Correct your spelling
optical
to deal with.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 if the
Use synonyms
women
Fix the agreement mistake
woman
show examples
 has four children and the cost of
feeting
Correct your spelling
feeding
 them is pricy that will
mak
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 them
afried
Correct your spelling
afraid
 to get more children.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 primary
reasone
Correct your spelling
reason
reasons
to make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
company
Use synonyms
 consider
hires
Wrong verb form
hiring
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family
women
Use synonyms
to
Add a missing verb
is to
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 save
money
Use synonyms
. Second,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 married
women
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 experience
life
Change preposition
in life
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 and the power to overcome
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
life pressure.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, married
women
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 the ability to deal with the condition of the
company
Use synonyms
 if they are strict
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
women
Use synonyms
konw
Correct your spelling
know
 how to handle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 they deal with crazy
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, if the
company
Use synonyms
some days
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their employees
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
extra work to do the
marieed
Correct your spelling
married
women
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 the awareness to do it.
Thus
Linking Words
, married
women
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 the determination to keep their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I once again reaffirm my position
taht
Correct your spelling
that
 married
women
Use synonyms
 will think about saving
money
Use synonyms
 and
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 married
women
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 experience
to deal
Change preposition
in dealing
show examples
 with
company
Use synonyms
. If I were a charger I would
hired
Change the verb form
hire
show examples
 married
women
Use synonyms
 because they will turn the benefits to the
company
Use synonyms

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task achievement
Make sure to clarify your main ideas in your introduction and ensure that your conclusion summarizes your key points more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your ideas by using linking words and phrases to connect your sentences and paragraphs more clearly.
task achievement
You have taken a clear stance on the topic, which shows your opinion on the issue.
task achievement
You included relevant examples to support your points, which helps to strengthen your argument.
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