IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The first chart below shows the percentages of men and women in a country involved in some kind of home tasks. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. Zhazira.

The first chart below shows the percentages of men and women in a country involved in some kind of home tasks. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. Zhazira.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The first chart provides information on
Correct your spelling
percentage that
Correct article usage
the percentagethat
show examples
percentagethat
Correct your spelling
percentage
 required different household duties which have
done
Add a missing verb
been done
show examples
 by females and
males
Use synonyms
 in a country. The second chart illustrates the hours spent on each
tasks
Change to a singular noun
task
show examples
 by men and women in one day.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is apparently seen that females do more household chores and spend a lot of time rather than
males
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
males
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
care
Verb problem
pay
show examples
 more attention to pet
care
Use synonyms
 and house repair. It is obvious that
boys
Use synonyms
 are not interested in cooking, which shows only 60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, but girls waste 80% in the kitchen.
Similarly
Linking Words
, approximately 61% of cleaning is
also
Linking Words
 completed by ladies
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
boys
Use synonyms
, results are 20% lower compared to ladies. For pet
care
Use synonyms
, two
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 of gender expended
similarly
Linking Words
, just over 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. 18% of house repairs involved to guy.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the amount of time
boys
Use synonyms
 and girls distributed on cooking,
around
Add a missing verb
was around
show examples
 85
minutes
Use synonyms
 and 60
minutes
Use synonyms
, respectively. In
this
Linking Words
 case, females are more carried out
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cleaning, at 1 hour and 5
minutes
Use synonyms
, and
boys
Use synonyms
 spend roughly half an hour. Both invested their time equally in pet
care
Use synonyms
, at 20
minutes
Use synonyms
.
Mostly
Correct your spelling
Most
show examples
males
Use synonyms
 tend to do house repairs, and they allocate 18
minutes
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, among ladies, it is not a common duty, so they do not engage in it.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "similarly".
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words males, care, boys, minutes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: