IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country.

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Knowledge is the best thing to take in
this
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 globe whether a person has to move out of the country, as nowadays
also
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 a large number of individuals are
also
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 travelling abroad to do work or to study for a large period of time. There are many transparent gains for it, but there are
also
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 many drawbacks for it.
Firstly
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, an individual living in other states will have more opportunities to explore different cultures and traditions, as well would learn different languages and to travel contemporary sites.
For instance
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, when I moved to South Korea, I came to know that they do not speak English
instead
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 they have their own language known as Korean.
Secondly
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, by moving to other countries, we are simultaneously getting life lessons. Foreigner has to stay
from
Change preposition
with
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his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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 for a long time phase as the family is the strongest thing for a person. An individual will
also
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 face some struggles like food, maps, communication problems, residence issues and religion and working aspects.
For example
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, when my friend moved to America, he told me that food was the major issue he faced, he had to do his
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
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 all night and sometimes he did overtime to complete his service.
To conclude
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, more experience living in different nations gives us a better bird eye’s view of the world.
Although
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, the difficulty of adapting to a new setting can’t be ignored, the knowledge we got in return tips the balance in favour of moving abroad.

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task achievement
The introduction could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that outlines the main points of the essay. Providing a brief outline of the advantages and disadvantages at the end of the introduction would help guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
While you have good ideas, some sentences are a bit unclear or awkwardly phrased. Take time to review your sentence structure for clarity. For example, 'a large number of individuals are also travelling abroad' could be simplified to 'many people are traveling abroad.'
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph should have a clearer topic sentence that summarizes its main point. This will help in organizing the ideas and improving the logical flow between points.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or personal anecdotes to illustrate your points more vividly. For example, you mention food issues but could elaborate on why food is a challenge and perhaps provide additional context about cultural differences in food.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples from your own experiences, which makes your essay more engaging and relatable.
task achievement
The essay does address both the advantages and disadvantages of living abroad, which fulfills the task requirements well.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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