The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In the
comtemperory
Correct your spelling
contemporary
era, obesity is surging and is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
commonly witnessed phenomenon in developed nations among youngsters. There are several reasons behind
this
Linking Words
predicament that
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
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to
ill-effects
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ill effects
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and several health issues which shall be elaborated upon presently. One of the prominent
reason
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reasons
show examples
behind gaining excessive weight is
dearth
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a dearth
the dearth
show examples
of physical activities in the daily regimen
due to
Linking Words
inordinate
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an inordinate
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amount of time spent
with
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in
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the digital world.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
situation
further
Linking Words
aggravates
due to
Linking Words
inclination
Correct article usage
the inclination
show examples
in the
comsumption
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consumption
of junk food among
new
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the new
a new
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generation. To illustrate, most of the parents are enrolled in dual jobs and they do not get enough time to prepare
home made
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homemade
show examples
meals for their kids,
thus
Linking Words
compelling them to buy readymade foods. There are several
Correct your spelling
consequences
consequencies
Correct your spelling
consequences
that

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language
Make sure to proofread your essay for spelling errors, such as 'comtemperory' which should be 'contemporary', and 'dearth of physical activities' could be expressed more clearly as 'lack of physical activity'.
content
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument with structured ideas and a clear progression. Consider expanding on how junk food affects health and providing more examples or statistics.
structure
Include a clear conclusion summarizing the main points discussed, and potentially propose possible solutions or recommendations for addressing the issue.
content
You have identified key factors contributing to the rise in obesity among children, such as technology use and dietary habits, which adds depth to your essay.
structure
Your introduction sets the stage for the discussion well, indicating that you will elaborate on causes and effects.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overweight
  • obesity
  • caloric intake
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • screen time
  • physical education
  • nutritious
  • psychological well-being
  • self-esteem
  • socioeconomic
  • healthcare system
  • life expectancy
  • obesity-related complications
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