IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that government funding for schools should be spent on science subjects rather than on other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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A fraction of
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 budget for schools must be spent on
science
Use synonyms
 subjects
such
Linking Words
 as Math and biology rather than on other subjects. at the same time, many
people
Use synonyms
 argue
this
Linking Words
 idea for many reasons. in
this
Linking Words
 essay, we will discuss the causes and explain both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
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 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
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. on the one hand, the funding for the educational academies is very essential to improve the
science
Use synonyms
 level.
however
Linking Words
, many suggestions indicated
to spent
Change preposition
that spending
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 on
science
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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 is more important than other topics
such
Linking Words
 as Art and History. because there is not a major future requirement for them. and the total cost is expensive compared with the
science
Use synonyms
 machines.
For example
Linking Words
, a Japanese factory shared a large bill for one school in 2016. included
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
technical devices and other items. the final fees were 2 million dollars. which was a huge figure for one school.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 and experts show the opposite that all
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different sections in the education plans should have a particular budget. in their opinion, Art, history and social communication are not less important than other parts.
moreover
Linking Words
, the argumenters of
this
Linking Words
 side said the most number of researchers are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
scientists.
in contrast
Linking Words
, the second part shared
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
statistics
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 an American college in 2010 which mentioned that 45% of the directors or
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rich
people
Use synonyms
 were not
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 students.
to sum up
Linking Words
, all the sections have a special experience.
although
Linking Words
 it is an expensive notion to
speding
Correct your spelling
spend
 on both sides. but it will be useful in the future.

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task achievement
The introduction is a bit unclear, and it's best to clearly state your own opinion while outlining the main points to be discussed.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to improve logical flow and help guide the reader through the essay.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples are explained more clearly and explicitly link them back to the argument being made.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical errors and sentence structure to enhance clarity and fluency in your writing.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument, showing that you've considered different perspectives, which is a strong point.
task achievement
Some relevant examples are provided, particularly regarding budgetary allocations for schools, which can enrich your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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